Over the past few years so many wonderful and exciting changes have came into my life. Some I help create, some were surprisingly sprung upon me and some transformations that I never even knew I wanted suddenly came galloping into my life. Hope that the metamorphosis continues.
I currently weigh over 100 lbs less than my highest weight of 315 lbs. (I am STILL over 200 lbs.) Gastric Bypass “Lap Roux-En-Y” and a low carb and high protein diet helped me get to this point. I would love to lose 25-35 additional lbs. I was on that way to that goal when Rosie (my sissy) underwent her Gastric Bypass “Lap Biliopancreatic Diversion with Duodenal Switch” and her subsequent MRSA infections derailed my weight loss. I gained 4 lbs. in the last 2 months. I am one of those people who EAT carbs when stressed and having my baby sister so ill, whom I am a caregiver for, was extremely stressful for me… hence I ate way more carbs than a diabetic or a gastric bypass patient should. At times, I still do. Rosie had nausea and some vomiting today so I ate a bunch of Hershey miniature candies and 2 bananas.. Sugar is 272 as I type this. Should be 70-120.. So disappointed in myself but I am gonna gain control… I have to.
All week I have had so much energy… well spurts of it at least. Right now I am hyper. Will prolly clean the dining area prior to bed. So glad that I am having SOME energy since I have virtually none the majority of the time due to chronic fatigue syndrome and fibromyalgia. Thinking back it seems I ALWAYS feel better in Sept/October… wondering if the cooler weather benefits me more than hot weather does. I have never tolerated HOT weather. Hmmm… gonna have to move to a more temperate climate … sunny, mild and breezy sounds lovely… Hawaii sounds about right!
I have so many plans for my future. Really gungho. I am gonna lose those 25-35 NAGGING lingering pounds…. and when I do I am gonna go have a tummy tuck. I absolutely positively detest my saggy and baggy lose skin in my stomach Panniculus region. I bet I could wear a size 6 or an 8 jean if I didn’t have this excess skin! In stretch denim I can wear a size 12 now.
I was this same weight 20 years ago when I married and divorced Michael Patterson Hager, Jr. He and I married 20 Years ago on Sunday. Divorced shortly after. He was just a brain fart in my life. LOL! I can NOT believe I married such a low life and gave up my virginity to him. (yep I was a 25 year old virgin. I was NO ANGEL…. He and I did fool around some prior to the wedding but I saved the best for last) I honestly am such a different lady now… Not as naive.
Age, Wisdom, Time, and Growth go hand in hand.
There have been times when I have acted high and mighty towards others and said things I regret. Acted like I was better than they were and I wish I hadn’t. I ask those whom I did this to to forgive me. I am no angel. Have never been and will never be. I am HUMAN and make mistakes like everyone else does.
I am very shy around those that I don’t know very well… BUT those close to me know that in actuality, I can be flirty, bawdy, raucous, and even hilarious. I hate having social anxiety. It keeps me from forming relationships… online and in real life. It has been 17 years since I dated. Yes…. it will be…. SEVENTEEN Years…. on Nov 18th. I have a wonderful ONLINE ONLY friendship with John. Known him for almost 4 years now.
You would never know it from reading my journal or my postings online but I have a high Intelligence Quotient… major issue I have is saying something that makes me look like a fool… or worrying about hurting other peoples feelings…. I worry way too much about what other people THINKS about me. Oh yep… I am also snobbishly proud to be the QUEEN Of the Ellipsis… LOL!
I want “THE REAL ANGELA” to come across online and in reality. I wish everyone could see the Angela that my sis Rosie and My Friend John sees. That would be a major breakthrough. I am gonna attempt to accomplish that and many other goals. 2011 has only a few months left and in those few months they are gonna be some spectacular changes in me. My appearance has changed dramatically in the 2 years, since I had gastric bypass and now is the time for my personality to shine brilliantly…. like a diamond in the sky. Sparking. Twinkling. Radiantly. Everlasting.
My renewed faith is strong and I know I can do anything I set my mind to.
I have to thank my beloved John for helping me get to this point in my life. He is the greatest man I have ever known after my Daddy. He is always there for me. Supportive. Compassionate. Considerate. Helpful. Complimentary. He is a professional. Works for the Scottish Government. Wears suits and Ties. WOW.. I loved the way he looked tonight. Majority of the time I see him in sweats but the past few evenings he has been working late and came to our webcam chat in his business attire. Tonight was a black dress shirt and a black and white polka dotted tie. So spiffy. Fashionable. I adore that he is so intelligent. He loves computers as much as I do. Knowledgeable in so many varied subjects… so unlike all the other men I have loved. Yes LOVED> I love that rascal and he loves me. He and I will remain ONLY friends unless God has other plans but for now it is a friendship. A partnership. He and I are emotionally closer than the preponderance of husbands and wives. He and I support one another. Comfort each other. ‘GET’ one another. So happy that I replied to his message 4 years ago. I knew immediately he was different. He and I met at a BBW “Big Beautiful Woman” friendship site… which has since shuttered.
John has been having some problems with his arm/elbow after falling off a ladder last weekend. Having major trouble sleeping. Pray that he gets a good nights sleep. I can’t wait to see him tomorrow night.
I have been tidying up my bedroom so John and I can have a private talk. It has been a long time since we chatted in private. Maybe twice in the last 2 years. Have been chatting on my laptop in Rosie’s room. Been TEXT chatting only… hope to talk by phone/webcam chat this weekend. He only has been seeing my face on webcam…. This weekend I will let him see me and the weight I have since lost.
I am experiencing body issues. Nothing new…. I was 315 lbs when I met John… and I was actually more comfy with my body then than I am now. I used to be way more provocative back then. I miss that part of me. Lately I have been wearing short dresses and tighter clothes. Even dyed my hair back to the color it was 20 years ago when I weighed the same. BLACK hair just suits me better. Even been wearing human hair extensions and wigs. Gastric bypass caused me to lose some of my luxurious mane. I cut over 15″ off over a year ago to see if that would make it look fuller. It didn’t…. Still almost as thin. My hair is now 23″ long again. It was over 30″ prior to the bypass. Hope to get it that long again. It is very healthy. Shiny. Just straggly and scrawny. Especially in the front area. I am just thankful that they make decent and affordable hair extensions and wigs now. I do wear my own hair the majority of the time but it [...]
Rosie is doing great. She is having a ct scan with dye today. They hope to discover no more abscesses in her abdomen. Will prolly remove the drain to the abscess above her bladder. She can’t eat anything till after the CT scan. She is drinking dye mixed with Crystal Light Ice Tea. She says it is Yucky.
IF everything goes well she will get to go home tomorrow!!! YAY! Woo-Hoo!
They stopped the TPN feedings and fluids. Dr Adams (infectious disease doc) says Rosie will no longer need any antibiotics. So she hopefully, will no longer need a picc line.
I am praying all is well and that WE get to go home!!!
I had severe nausea for a few hours last night. Also having a sinus/allergy attack. Woke up at 4 am feeling really bad. Doing ok now.
Rosie’s White Blood Count is down to 20,000. YAY!!!!!!! That means her infection is improving! She is eating some bacon and cantaloupe for breakfast.
Doctor Boyce her gastric bypass surgeon (biliopancreatic diversion with duodenal switch) says she may get to go home in a few days!!!!! So happy. I love my sissy!!!
GOOD NEWS: The fistula to Rosie’s colon is healing on it’s own.
Rosie had 2 drainage tubes removed from her abdomen.
She had a cyst drained near her bladder. Sending off a culture to see what it is. Assume it is MRSA staph infection like the rest of them has been. She has a new drain that is connected to the bladder cyst area.
They added the antibiotic Invanz to her treatment.
Her hernia wound is healing and closing in.
Rosie is feeling great…. ate 2 slices of thin deli ham for her snack and a 2-3 oz of roast beef for supper.
I LOVE MY SISSY!
I had severe muscle aches in my thighs. Vicodin relieved it for awhile. Coming back… UGH!
Rosie is receiving the 1st of 3 bags of FPP. Blood Plasma transfusions now.
Rosie was just taken down to radiology. They are injecting dye into her drain tubes that lead to the mrsa abscesses in her abdomen. Checking to see if the fistula leading to her colon is closing or not.
Rosie is feeling pretty good this morn. She slept well last night.
BUT she needs a blood plasma transfusion prior to putting a drainage tube in a newly discovered mrsa abscess near her bladder. Have to get her PT and INR levels back to normal (she is on coumadin to prevent blood clots and her blood is too thin to do any surgery… (like aspirating and draining abscesses) prior to installing the drain tube. We will be here in the hospital all weekend and possibly longer.
It is our 15th straight day in the hospital. UGH.
I had a tossy and turny night. Achy thighs. Gonna rest most of the day. Chronic fatigue syndrome/Fibromyalgia sucks!
Rosie ate rice krispies and milk for breakfast …. kept it down. She did spit up clear foamy liquid after eating… but the food stayed down. Telavancin antibiotic causes foamy urine…. wondering if it also causing foamy vomiting.
Hope they can get her blood plasma levels back to normal quickly so they can drain that bladder abscess. I am sure she will feel better once they get rid of it. Still on Telavancin, Flagyl, fluids, Zoran, Phenergan , Domperidone and TPN feedings… as well as all her normal meds.
She sat up on the side of her bed to eat… She ate 5 strips of bacon and some mandarin oranges for breakfast. Mild nausea. Doing a CT Scan later today.
Hope that the MRSA abscess are gone and that they remove the 2 drainage tubes. Her GI test and KUB showed all is normal.
We are thinking her nausea and vomiting may be due to the high doses of antibiotics she is taking. Doc changed her antibiotics from Vancomycin to Daptomycin and now to Telavancin.
Rosie is not feeling well today. Is nauseous. Has no appetite. Vomiting. Cramping aches in her tummy. She is crying. Worried she will never get better. Trying to re-assure her. She is upset cause she felt wonderful yesterday and has went down so fast. I am sure her infection worsens during these down periods. Dr Adams changed her from Vancomycin to Daptomycin antibiotics via IV. I pray that it gets her infection under control So concerned about her. Hate seeing her so sick and crying. She had a rough night and just fell back to sleep. I am gonna take a nap. I have been sleeping on a chair that makes a bed… just a few feet away from her hospital bed. REALLY need your prayers. Thanks!
My lovely sis Rosie had gastric bypass on July 26th. Hernia Repair on August 30th. Rosie already had her gallbladder and spleen removed previously. Her latest EGD was normal. She now has MRSA infection in her abdomen and colon. They are trying a new antibiotic today. Vancomycin is not working. Repeating a CT SCAN on Thursday. She is feeling much better but unable to keep MOST food and vitamins down. She is being fed her nutrition and vitamins by IV for now. Keep praying. THANKS!
My Sis Rose had a pretty good day. Only mild nausea. No vomiting. She did have tremendous pain in her abdomen when she got back in bed. She will be here in the hospital till at least Tuesday. We have been here for 10 days straight this time. Prior to that it was 7 days and before that 3 days. All since July 26th!
My sis Rose Lee Goode is not doing well. Nausea, vomiting, and diarrhea. Still in the hospital. On all sorts of meds, antibiotics, and IV feedings. Unable to eat. She feels so bad. I pray that God heals her quickly and totally. She has lost 53 lbs in 38 days. Please send healing prayers her way. THANKS!
Rosie has had nausea and vomiting all night and into this morn. Taking Zofran IV or it. Vomiting is either her meds or clear foamy liquids. Not vomiting any food. Also having diarrhea. Having pain in her 2 drain areas from the MRSA abscesses in her lower left side. She is on Lortab and morphine via IV.
Dr Boyce said Rosie had a small piercing from the abscess into her colon. Not sure why. But may be from the CT needle abscess fluid withdrawal. Or may be related to diverticulitis. He called it a possible fistula. Will be here in the hospital a few more days.
Wants her to EAT all she can today. She has some peanut butter and strawberry jelly so far. Gonna try some scrambled egg next.
Gonna get Dad to bring me some clothes. I have 3 dresses here which I have been hand washing in shampoo and hanging to dry in the shower. Dad is also bringing us Rosie’s protein shakes and vitamins. Wish he could Sneak in our Cairn Terrier. Smoki Poki Loki. He has been missing us so bad that he barely is eating. Rosie and I talk to Smoki and our cats Jazzi ( long haired Siamese Ragdoll mix), Tater ( Ginger Red Tabby), and Punkin (Siamese) by speakerphone a few times daily. They all come to listen to us. Dad says they all get so happy to hear our voices.
Wish we could talk to Panther and Daisy. Panther ( Large Black/Gray Cat) is our outdoor cat. He is a stray cat and has taken up with us. He has been with us for almost 2 years now. For the last 6 weeks we have had a big stray dog outdoors whom we named Daisy . She is painfully thin and Dad is feeding her. Seems so sweet.
Gonna head to the cafeteria now. Getting bored with food now. UGH.
CT Scan shows that the drain tube to Rosie’s MRSA abscess has moved and not in the right area to drain. She is having to have a procedure done to correct that. ~Angela
Rosie is still in the hospital. Doing ok this morn. Just had an abdominal CT SCAN to check for the MRSA Abscesses. May get released tomorrow. I have stayed with her all week. Thanks for all your prayers.
Rosie had a good night. Feeling well today. Eating fairly well.. would do so much better IF the food was palatable. She had a scrambled egg, strawberry jelly, and milk for breakfast.
Dr Boyce ( gastric bypass surgeon) and Dr Adams (infectious disease doc) has visited Rosie this morn. Boyce is aiming for Rosie to get released by the weekend. Dietician needs to add up her protein intake and report to him. He has ordered another abdominal ct scan to check for inflammation and abscess of her tummy. Dr Adams is ordering her IV vancomycin for home use as well as flagyl orally.
Rosie has had very minor nausea the past few days and has kept ALL her food and fluids down. Praise God.
She sat up for an hour in her wheelchair yesterday. Aiming for 90 min today.
She is still receiving TPN nutrition feedings by IV. I assume they will continue for a few days once she arrives back home.
We are not certain of Rosie’s highest weight but assume she has lost around 100 lbs so far. She is still weak and does not set up straight. So the weight loss is not that noticeable yet. Once she can sit up better and wear clothes other than extremely loose garments( due to her hernia wound and her MRSA drain tube) all her weight loss will be greatly visible. She was wearing size 32/34 pants. Prior to surgery she was down to a size 24. She has lost 40+ lbs since so I assume she will be able to wear even smaller pants as soon as the wounds heal. She has a new wardrobe at home waiting for her. We purchased all sorts of clothes prior to surgery. She has some really sexy clothes. My sis is gonna be a skinny minny SLUT! LOL.. Just like her sis. LOL.
My chronic fatigue syndrome has a major flare-up. So tired. Really severe shoulder… thigh… hip… aches and pings. I slept so-so last night. Gonna take a nap with Rosie shortly.
Rosie is up every 90 min to urinate at night. She uses a bed pan. The nurse assistants take care of it at night and I do it during the day.
Been having panic attacks. Just stressed and feeling lonely. Missing John. Even though we text and email daily I haven’t seen him LIVE on cam. He is gonna go on a holiday to Spain with his sis. Gonna miss him even more.
I am hoping Rosie gets released tomorrow.
Thanks for all your prayers, support and well wishes.
Rosie is doing well. She ate 1 scrambled egg and 1/2 serving of applesauce for breakfast. She vomited up clear fluids aka foamies afterwards BUT as long as she keeps her food down, which she did, all is well.
She has seen 3 doctors today and a dietician.
She is sleeping now. I plan on taking a nap after dad gets here and leaves.
Her WBC level went down to 20,000.
She is feeling so much better. No pain. No nausea.
I had a rough night. Didn’t sleep well. My shoulders and thighs are killing me. Having to take my Vicodin as scheduled. I normally only take half of what the doc has prescribed for me.
Hopefully Rosie will get to go home tomorrow.
I have been so stressed out with worry about Rosie. It finally caught up with me…. I have been so nervous, anxious, and shaky since last night.
Rose’s EGD was normal. No blockage. No ulcer. No Stricture. Wilhoite is gonna try another anti-nausea med to see if that helps. I think getting rid of the mrsa will help her nausea the most. Nausea is only mild today.
She has lost another 6 lbs!!! So she has now lost 37 lbs since July 27th, 2011. Not bad sissy!
Resuming Liquid diet this afternoon.
Keep those well wishes and good thoughts coming our way. THANKS!
Rosie is feeling better today. But her WBC -White Blood Count- was up from 18,000 to 22,000. Dr. Williams said they due to her having her spleen removed her WBC should be less than 15,000. It was 32,000 on Friday.
She is receiving fluids, vancomycin, and bariatric tpn via IV.
She is having less nausea today. Took some of her oral meds and kept them down. She is more alert and talkative and looks better.
She is gonna try a Popsicle later today.
She has an EGD scheduled for 1:30 tomorrow with Dr Wilhoite here at ParkWest Hospital. Not sure if it will happen then or not since it was scheduled prior to her MRSA diagnosis.
Rosie’s BP , temperature and heart rate are normal. They all had been elevated.
Dad came and visited us today and is on his way back home. Pray that he makes it home safe. Worried to death knowing he is traveling on I-40 alone.
Rosie got weighed in the hospital bed and she has lost 31 more lbs since surgery. So proud of her. She is delighted. She has lost around 90 lbs since February!!!
She is attempting to take protonix (tummy med) orally. Will see how it goes.
I had BBQ chicken, Mashed Taters, Broccoli, and Cucumbers for my dinner. Have enough leftovers for 2 more meals. They give you way too much food!!!
I am having an allergy attack. UGH!
Just took some vicoden and hopefully my leg and shoulder pains will subside. TIRED.
Dr Williams told Rosie that they drained off 100 ml/3 oz. of MRSA abscess and pus from her abdomen. Nurse Tanya told us they they removed it from ONE large pocket of pus… and that Rosie had smaller pockets of pus that they hoped would be taken care of by Vancomycin.
Rosie is in isolation and every medical person that comes in her room MUST wear gloves and a plastic gown. So far today I have noticed 1 nurse and 1 CNA who did not follow procedure. Even Dr Williams did not wear the gown.
Rosie refuses her oral meds since they make her so sick. Still having nausea and yuckiness. Drinking sips of water only. They have her on Bariatric TPN which is fairly new. She had been on a regular diet TPN.
Williams stopped Ivanz but continued the vancomycin. She takes Zofran by IV for nausea but it does not help much at all.
Rosie’s WBC – white blood count – has went from 30,000 down to 18,000… which shows the vancomycin is working.
Her wound vac got clogged last night and was off for around 10 hours till they got it cleansed and rehooked.
They did bring Rosie a tray of liquids for lunch but she declined it.
Water only for her for now.
She is feeling bad today.
I am in the midst of a fibromyalgia flare-up. Shoulders and Thighs affected the most. Tired. Been resting all day.
Heading to the cafeteria in about an hour for some dinner.
Keep on praying. Thanks.
Sending love and prayers to all those being affected and about to be by Hurricane Irene.
She had a good afternoon yesterday UNTIL they started her back on meds, she took a few of them and then an hour or so later she had severe Nausea and Chills.
This morn she was asked to take her meds and she refused. 10 min later she was vomiting.They gave her some zofran through her IV.
She feels bad today. Receiving IV fluids, invanz, vancomycin, and TPN. She is sleeping now. I pray that she wakes up feeling better.
I slept like a baby last night. Prolly will end up napping some today.
