Hot Men: PHOTO: Channing Tatum, Matthew McConaughey, Matt Bomer, and Joe Manganiello do a little striptease for the July 2012 cover of Entertainment Weekly.
Ke$ha, Naya Rivera, and Katharine McPhee have all been seen sporting 1930s-era finger-waved looks.
Chanteuse Lana Del Rey looked perfectly lovely in her Alberta Ferretti gown, but the real attention-grabber was her 18-karat white gold necklace, which featured a 31-carat yellow pear-shaped diamond drop. That's quite the rock.
Berenice Bejo Actress Berenice Bejo of The Artist was picture perfect in bright red Louis Vuitton accented with Chopard jewels. Classic RED Dress.
WEIRD FASHION: Elena Lenina is a Russian model/author who appeared on a French reality television show in 2003
Lady GaGa @ Narita International Airport on Wednesday (May 16) in Tokyo, Japan.
Nicole Scherzinger, UK premiere of Men in Black 3 on Wednesday (May 16) at Odeon Leicester Square in London, England.
Jennifer Morrison
Brooklyn Decker glams it up for a feature in Vanity Fairs June 2012 issue
Brooklyn Decker glams it up for a feature in Vanity Fairs June 2012 issue
Brooklyn Decker glams it up for a feature in Vanity Fairs June 2012 issue
Brooklyn Decker glams it up for a feature in Vanity Fairs June 2012 issue
Ricky Martin
Diane Kruger poses at the 2012 Cannes Film Festival‘s jury photo call held at Palais des Festivals on Wednesday (May 16) in Cannes, France.
Eva Longoria. Cannes
Jane Fonda> Cannes
Diane Kruger,. Palais des Festivals on Wednesday (May 16) in Cannes
Freida Pinto. Palais des Festivals on Wednesday (May 16) in Cannes
Janet Jackson
Billy Ray Cyrus: Milk Campaign Ad
Brevard Zoo! The zoo welcomes its first Saki monkey baybay into the fold on April 20th. The cute female babe is mama Chuckie's first child as well.
PHOTO: Bruce Willis poses at the Moonrise Kingdom photo call held during the 2012 Cannes Film Festival at Palais des Festival on Wednesday (May 16) in Cannes, France.
See what your friends are reading Shared with friends Settings Roach In McDonald's Hash Browns: Man Finds Deep-Fried Bug Mealbreaker (n.): a nasty, non-edible surprise found in food while it is being eaten; often lawsuit-provoking, sometimes fabricated, always disgusting.
Princess Kate Middleton BRAIDED UP-DO
Elizabeth Taylor and Michael Todd. Fashion. Tiara. CLASSIC
Rosie had a good day.She spoke to her nurse and all her labs have improved since February. She is scheduled for her 1st colonoscopy: Monday the 26th. She is high risk so the prep is not as bad as most. Miralax 2-3 times Friday/Saturday with a Low Residue Diet. On Sunday, clear fluids and Miralax 4 times. She doesn’t need an enema nor has to drink the gallon of that nasty stuff! I have had 5 colonoscopies. Diagnosed with Irritable Bowel Syndrome and Diabetic Gastroparesis. :-(
Took Dad to Capt D’s for his 71st birthday. Coconut Shrimp.
Went grocery shopping. Rosie has put me on a diet. Got all healthy foods today. Fruits, Veggies, Protein!
My sugar was down to 248 this am. I increased my metaglip from 2.5 to 5 mg twice a day yesterday. Went to 7.5 mg tonight. Will continue on that to see how my sugar levels reacts. Really not wanting to go back on insulin nor being attached to an insulin pump all the time but I may HAVE to.
Got home from shopping… just had sat down when I heard a loud noise. Seems Tater and Jazzi (our cats) had knocked down Dad’s 32″ Flatscreen TV in his bedroom… it comes on but the screen has lines all over it!!! It is only 9 months old and….. Looks like he will be buying a new one. BOO! Was hoping Dad would be buying him an Ipad for me to borrow…. looks like that may not happen now. AARDVARK!
I am feeling better today than I have in months. Grateful for that. Must have been high sugar levels dragging me down.
Just wish my fibro aches and pains would subside. Still feels like I have a ton of elephants pushing down on my shoulders. Even been having chest tightness lately. Still having balance issues. My hip has given out on me a few times recently.
My boys Smoki and Snickers are adoring the warm weather. Love going bye-bye with us. They are such a hoot. RIDING THE WIND. I had 4 of my boys in bed when I fell asleep last night.. Tater, Jazzi, Smoki, and Snickers…. all in a twin (single) bed.
Hope to dye my hair tomorrow…. Rosie’s too.
Dogs need bathed. They smell like DOG!
Just wish I had a man to take care of me. SO JEALOUS OF OTHERS WHO DO.
I am such a great person. Full of compassion with tons of love that I willing to share.
I KNOW MY HELPMATE IS OUT THERE SOMEWHERE! Just praying that he and I discover one another. TRYING to wait… just so hard at times. Just need someone to cuddle with, SHAG with, confide in, share life and all its experiences with. SCARED that I am always gonna be an old maid. I know that my predestined mate is out there. Perhaps even will read this blog entry…
I am asking The Lord Jesus Christ to guide my soulmate and I together. Let him know that I am the woman your created for him. I know all things are possible with God. I surrender my future love and myself to God. I know he and I will do great things together. I just know it! Bring me into his life and I into his.
God I admit and confess ALL my sins. FORGIVE ME. I know I should be doing more for You. Guide me to what I need to do for you. USE ME!
Rosie and I went grocery shopping at Wal-mart. Only got necessities since Rosie started having tummy cramps and was feeling bad. She is still having diarrhea and nausea off and on… currently Off.
We both get allergy shots tomorrow and then we head to Knoxville for Rose to see her gastric bypass doc. She needs a referral from him to see a Gastroenterologist.
I had a small melt-down today. Ranting. Screaming, Cursing. Just so stressful with Rosie.. once minute she is bubbly, happy, feeling good and then the next minute it all goes downhill. Hate seeing her cry in pain. She is so irritable.
Please God send the best doctors, tests, and medicine into her life to make her life more enjoyable. Heal my Baby sis Rose Lee. I surrender Rosie’s health to God.
I have to rise and shine at 9 am so I am off to bed.
Sending prayers to all my family as well as all my friends here in Tennessee and Texas.
Praying that my predestined helpmate is praying for me right this moment as I am praying for him… wherever and whoever he might be.
Rosie’s nausea returned on Friday. She felt yucky all weekend. We stayed home. She goes sees her Gastric Bypass Doc on Thursday. Hope to get a referral to a Gastroenterologist. Needs a colonoscopy and endoscopy.
Thanks for all your support, thoughts, well wishes and prayers sent our way. Praying for all who have prayed for Us.
I was achy all weekend. Inflamed joints, Muscles aches, fatigued. Did get a lil bit of spring cleaning started.
Really need to do some grocery shopping tomorrow. Hope Rosie feels well enough to go out.
2 Men from Southern West Virginia (where I was born and raised) Are on the wealthiest USA Billionaires List. AMAZED at their accomplishments and proud of their philanthropy!
Got the older Dell Laptop ready to sell for $100. Going to prepare 2 netbooks that we plan on selling for $25 each. Also have a 24″ FLAT monitor to sale for $25. ALL BARGAINS! Have 1 PC that needs fixed.I Think it is a bad graphics card… Gonna work on that.
Watching Whitney and Bobbi Kristina on Oprah. Praying for Bobbi.
Thinking about MR HANDSOME… if he only knew all the things I dream about doing to him… LOL! I am sure he would blush! Sometimes I think about writing him in regards to all the hot fantasies I have of him…Naughty… Bawdy… Erotic Fun! I imagine him doing hedonistic things to me.Ooh-la-la what an experience he and I could share.I may have not had sex in years but my body is ready, willing and able.When I have been in a relationship… the sexual part was always fiery, wild and passionate. On a Daily basis. Love sharing sensuality with a partner.Miss that.I adore intimacy…. lovemaking…. more-so than most women.I can be too demanding. Just craving for a man to stroke his hand across my face.Gently kiss my lips.Suck on my earlobe.Cuddle me tight as we sleep.YES, I am Frisky.Needing a lil nookie… hell.. I want A LOT of nookie! LOL When I am in LOVE…. I always am ready to share carnal relations. I hope that Mr Handsome dances through *MY* dreams…and that *I* do the same in his dreams till the day ( IF EVER) that *WE* walk into each others lives…. and ravage one each others minds, hearts, bodies, and souls.
Rosie is feeling pretty good today. Zofran must have helped. She just took a phenergan. Will take a Zofran in a few hours. Still having pain and soreness in her lower abdomen.
Waiting for Dr Williams/Dr Boyce to call us back. Hope they can see her today.
I had Gastric Bypass Dumping Syndrome all night. Should not have ate that Hot Fudge Cake. Still feeling YUCKY.
Thanks for all your prayers. Praying for all of you.
Today she went for her 7th ER Visit in 8 months. Twice in the last 2 weeks. All her vitals and blood work was normal today. She had a ct scan today and 2 weeks ago. It shows some air abscesses. In August she had MRSA Abscess all over her internal stomach. Was hospitalized for 21 days. I STILL BELIEVE SHE HAS MRSA ABSCESSES!
The ER Doc wants her to see her Gastric Bypass surgeon Dr Boyce in a few days. Dr Boyce is out-of-town so she will be seeing his partner Dr Williams. Hopefully morrow. Dr Williams treated Rosie in the hospital when she has MRSA. He is a really nice man and so is Dr Boyce. Both are very handsome. My latest crushes!
They will prolly send her to a gastroenterologist for an Endoscopy and Colonoscopy. She has never had a colonoscopy. I have Irritable Bowel Syndrome and had 5 colonoscopy’s and 6 endoscopy’s. WORST thing is the prep. Aka Cleaning out the bowels. Prep drinks are so yucky! UGH! I feel sorry for Rosie having to drink that $hit. Yucky! It is better ice-cold and with some crystal light mixed in…. but still so nasty!
So glad that I had access to MSN Live Messenger at University of Tennessee ER. Got to webcam chat with my John. Chat is blocked at Parkwest Hospital. He was still all dolled up in his business attire. Shirt and Ties make me weak in the knee’s. Love a man in a suit. Adore men who can wear a suit for work and then jeans for fun and play.
It made Rosie so Happy to hear that Rick Hendrix was praying for her. Made her smile. Thanks Mr Hendrix!
I am wanting another dog and cat! A rescued one.Hopefully one day I can live on a farm with tons of pets. I adore cats, Dogs, Donkeys and Billy Goats. I would rescue every animal I could. Love Animals. Easier to talk to than people. LOL! I have conversations with all my pets, 2 dogs and 4 cats. They truly understand all the words I put into their mouths. LMFAO!
I hadn’t ate much today so on the way home we stopped at Cardins Drive-In. I was so stressed that I ordered a Hot Fudge Cake. Man it was awesome but now I am so ill. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gastric_dumping_syndrome UGH! NAUGHTY GIRL!
Rosie’s blood they drew tonight was almost black and thick. PT and INR was in the therapeutic range. She takes blood thinner to prevent blood clots. She has had so many blood clots that I have lost count. Even had one in her bladder. She inherited this from her Granny Goode. She has a GreenField Filter http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Greenfield_filter to catch blood clots and prevent them going to her lungs or heart.
Joints frozen in her arms, hands, elbows, legs, feet, knees and hips.
She has not been able to walk since she was 16. She turns 45 this year. When Rosie was 12 a doctor told Mom that Rosie would not make it to the age of 21. So glad that doc was WRONG!
Rosie broke her tailbone 18 months ago. Still have aches and pains.
All of this and Rose is still one of the happiest people I ever met.
God knew I could not handle all that Rosie has went through and is going through. Just glad that God chose me to be her care taker. I adore her with all my heart. Not only my sissy but also my best friend.
Blessed to have Rosie in my life.
Still praying to finally meet the man God created me for. I know my Baby Love is out there praying for me at this minute. Can’t wait to meet him. Let him know I am praying for him.
Thanks for all your prayers. Just pray that the docs can find out what is causing Rose Lee’s tummy pain, nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, and lack of appetite. So stressful to know she feels so bad. I Pray that Dr Williams sends her to the best gastroenterologist in Knoxville… one that will take the time to listen and will run tests and scopy’s to find out what is causing all of this.
Snickers, Smoki. Panther, Jazzi, Punkin and Tater were glad to see us back home.
Smoki senses Rose is sick and keeps checking on her. Nurse Doggy!
Rosie was feeling so much better when we got home. That Zofran stuff is great. Just hoping that her insurance will cover it.. But I doubt it. Praise God that they have a generic form. Name Brand Zofran is $750.00 a month for a once a day pill. Generic is around $50….. $50 bucks don’t sound like a lot… but it is a tremendous amount for someone on Social Security Disability like Rosie is.
Saw this online…
I asked for strength and God gave me difficulties to make me strong… I asked for wisdom and God gave me problems to solve… I asked for prosperity and God gave me brain and brawn to work… I asked for courage and God gave me danger to overcome… I asked for love and God gave me troubled people to help… I asked for favors and God gave me opportunities… I received nothing I wanted… I received everything I needed… TRUST IN GOD
Praying that Rosie sleeps well and gets some rest. Same for me!
Thanks to everyone who has prayed for us. Much appreciated and prayers returned. May God Bless and Prosper all of you.
She has drunk some contrast dye for her ctscan, Should be here any minute to take her to it. Gonna inject dye into her veins. Pray they are successful. Will give e much clearer CT SCAN if hey can. They tried a few months ago and failed getting the injection into her. She is a difficult stick. Her RN got the IV into Rose on the 2nd try. I have seen them stick her 13 times and NEVER Got an IV started. Even when she had her last hernia repair they had to put in a central picc line.
Rosie and I went out to grocery shop after taking the boys for a drive through the countryside. Rosie got ill in the store and we had to leave. Diarrhea and vomiting. Believe me I have done nothing but clean up both ever since she had gastric bypass surgery on 7-24-11. She also had major cramping below her navel region. Wanted to take her to the ER but she wanted to come home and let me clean her up first. Well, we did that. She had no fever and decided to wait till tomorrow. We have been to the ParkWest Hospital ER 5 times since 7-24-11 with her having nausea, vomiting and diarrhea. Took 3 ER visits to get them to admit her. Finally got an ER doc that would listen!!!!!
She had MAJOR case of MRSA abscesses in her stomach and spent 21 days in the hospital. The Last visit was 10 days ago…..her vitals, ct scan and labs were normal. They couldn’t do complete labs since she is a difficult stick. They SHOULD HAVE tried more times than they did. UGH!
She’s had 2 hernia repairs since GBS “Gastric Bypass Surgery” One in August 2011 and another in Feb 2012. After the most recent repair she got SEVERE DIARRHEA! I should know since I am her caregiver and it has been BAD! YUCK. She has had NO APPETITE since GBS. Was on TPN Feedings for 2 months. She has not ate a handful of food in weeks. She is weak. Has significant bruising on her body. I am sure she is dehydrated and malnourished.
We are heading to University of Tennessee Emergency Room tomorrow and NOT Parkwest Hospital.
Rosie NOW has a fever of 100.6. Giving her a Tylenol.
I just pray that we get a good ER doc who will investigate all her issues she is having.
I am taking enough clothes and toiletries for a few weeks. Sure they will admit her. Dad is gonna MAKE THEM! She is obviously sick. She has lost over 200 lbs in 13 months! Just so scared and worried about her. Stressed out to the max. All she has ate today is 1 1/2 deli thin ham slices and 1/2 slice of cheese. She has only drank about 20 OZ of fluids. Just not able to drink or eat much.
PRAISE GOD for all my friends in Scotland, Tennessee, and Texas. Don’t know what I would do without you. You all are a blessing. So glad I took a chance and decided to befriend all of you. You are GOOD PEOPLE!
My heart is beating too fast. Lump in my throat. UGH. Trying to relax.
Rosie took her phenergan and will soon be asleep. As soon as I know she is sound asleep I am going go to bed. EXHAUSTED.
Dad, Rosie, The Boys and I went to the Great Smokies Flea Market today. We took the Boys pet stroller which they both USED to fit in…. Snickers has grown so big that it was a tight fit. So Rosie bought a pet stroller than holds 4 small pets. Ended up selling the old Stroller to a lady for $20… she was thrilled to get it. It was a bargain. New stroller was $86
Rosie bought the boys new harnesses to go with the new collars she got earlier this week. So Snazzy!
Picked up some $1 jewelry items. I bought a long dress for $8 brand new. Rosie got her one as well.
Rosie woke up this morn and started vomiting as soon as she took her meds. Had nausea off and on all day. She fell asleep about an hour ago. Hope she wakes up feeling better.
Went to Capt. Gallery in Dandridge for Dinner. Rosie and I split the Ribeye, Jumbo Shrimp, Fried Zucchini and Salad. We have enough ribeye leftover to feed us both supper tomorrow. I also have some fried zucchini left over. YUM! Was gonna order some clam chowder but forgot to. Thank God.. I couldn’t have ate it. Was stuffed.
SnickerDoodle has been so protective of me this evening. Will not allow Smoki to come near me. Growling at him. Not sure why.
Need to find a dentist. Need a good cleaning and perhaps a filling. Want one closer to us than Dr. Frankie office.
Had a panic attack or hot flash… at the flea market. Was drenched head to toe with sweat for almost an hour. Skin was flushed. HATE IT.
Got home and my face is puffy. Wasn’t when I left. Not sure… but I bet it is allergy related.
Thinking about cutting bangs again. Not sure.
John adored my hair tonight. I rolled it with 1″ velcro rollers. Used tons of ‘em. Looked so feathery and shiny.
Rosie is craving an Hawaiian Ice so we are going on an excursion to find one tomorrow. Wish us luck.
Had issues with my balance today. Almost fell flat on my butt twice today. Just unsteady. Really need to get an injection in my right hip as Doc Kouser wanted to do.
SO HAPPY for my friends in Nashville. Good things are heading their way. Movie is being made by Universal based on their lives. INSPIRATIONAL! Blessed to have them in my life. I love em all. Hope that one day we can meet one another.
Just realized I haven’t taken my meds tonight.. Oops… BRB. Took em.
I haven’t taken my vitamins/minerals/supplements in a week or so. Gonna start back.
Also I have been naughty…. Been consuming way more carbs that I should. Makes me feel sluggish. I should know better but Carbs are so comforting to me.
Will prolly be going to West Virginia on Friday. Hope the large handicapped cabin at Twin Falls State Park is available. May have to change the day we go. We LOVE that cabin cause so many of our WV family can stay with us. :-)
Having aches and pains. May have to increase my dosage on my pain meds back to what the doc wants me to take. Tried to lower them and OUCH!
Dad was in a great mood this afternoon. Thank God cause sometimes he is the grouchiest old man on earth. Dad attracts so many women. Always trying to pick him up. He does NOT look 71 at all. Still has all his hair and he is indeed handsome. HE DOES NOT WANT TO DATE ANYONE.
I do want to date YET I get no dudes trying to pick me up. NONE. Only man who has come up to me and asked me out was the man (Hager) that I married. Rest of the men I dated were through personal newspaper ads.Men may be interested in me and I am just tooo dumb and socially inept that I don’t recognize it. Ooops… One other man asked me out at church in 1991. He didn’t have a car nor a job so I politely declined.
I don’t go anywhere without Rosie. Only time I have been apart was during hospitalizations. Maybe 3-4 times I was gone for a few hours with Hager. I did spend 3 over night trips at Gary’s (aka WV Millionaire dude) house
The only time I ever went on a date ALONE with a man was my honeymoon night… Always had Rosie or they brought their friends along. I would love to have a man pick me up, bring me flowers and take me out just for dinner. Just Dinner is all I ask.
Only one man has sent me flowers and that was Steven Bryant Ward aka Poison98. I met him through a Poison Chat Room that he hosted. He and I had a cyber which progressed to a phone relationship for almost a year. We had planned on him flying in from Tulsa, Oklahoma to West Virginia to meet and he backed out the week we was coming to meet me. We ended up staying together for a few months after that. He sent me flowers for my birthday. I am a December babe and the flowers were sent in a unique green globe ornament vase. Still have it in my bedroom.
Goodness, I have missed out on so much in my life…. It is time for that to change!
I know I have a few men who reads my journal often. One is The Actor, Game Show Host, Mr Intelligence himself Stephen Fry! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stephen_Fry He says he is 90% gay and 10% straight. I have written him a few naughty PRIVATE (you have to follow one another to send PRIVATE messages on Twitter) flirtatious tweets and he always replies. I love an intelligent man who knows who he is and stands up for what he believes in… way more than a handsome one. But I do admire a handsome warm heart and soul.
I know that some awesome things are about to transpire in my life. Excited. Lord, I surrender prepare me for all the new adventures I am about to undertake!
We are gonna take the Boys: Smoki Poki Loki (Carin Terrier aka Toto dog) and SnickerDoodle Bug (Miniature long haired dachshund) for a Sunday drive through the country side. We have taken Sunday drives for as long as I can remember. So relaxing. Love to admire all the glorious beauty God has created. Well it is relaxing until Smoki sees cows, deers, goats. horses, rabbits, etc. Then all heck breaks lose. He goes nuts. Barking. UGH! But what is even worse is when it is raining and we have the windshield wipers on… Smoki dives into the dashboard after them. UGH! And I am even holding him and his leash! Snickers and Smoki enjoyed having the window down today….As Bret Michaels wrote, “RIDE THE WIND, Never coming back till I touch the midnight sun.” I sing that to the Boys and they go bonkers cause they know I am about to roll down the window!
Asking the Lord Jesus Christ to help me SAY NO TO CARBS! Praying for energy to do more things. Chronic fatigue is debilitating. UGH. I am gonna do at least 30 min of household chores daily. Asking God for the willpower to do more things without pain and to control my appetite. I SURRENDER.
My cousin Brandy found 6 puppies dropped off on a country road in WV. They are so cute. She is keeping one and going to find homes for the others. Pray they all received loving homes. Looks like part German Shepherd.
When 9-11-01 happened I was seeing a psychiatrist prior to it happening. It was so difficult to deal with. A few months after it happened My shrink made me promise not to read or watch news about it. Still upsetting to me. Now all these tornadoes, hurricanes, natural [...]
For the past few weeks….well make that months… Rosie has been sick most days with vomiting, nausea, and/or diarrhea. She has not been her joyful talkative self.
She had Gastric Bypass 7-24-2011 and has had a tough time. MRSA, C. Diff, Hernia repair. All-in-all she spent almost a month in the hospital.I never left her side.
She sometimes goes a few days feeling better and then boom back to being sick. She is doing well today. Even went online using her laptop for a few hours. That makes me so happy. She has not been online more than 10 min in months. She normally loves to surf the web.
She had another hernia repair a few weeks ago. It was the 3rd umbilical repair she has had. One was only last August.
Since January 2011 she has lost over 200 lbs. She is getting so skinny. Still not eating much… but is trying to. Doing our best to get more Protein in her. She is now sound asleep. Praise God.
Plans are to go to The Great Smokies Flea Market tomorrow. Taking the boys, Smoki and Snickers. Gonna get them fitted for new harnesses. We got Smoki a gold rhinestone collar and Snickers a Silver one. They look so cute in them. Just hope they both can ride in the doggie stroller.
I know I prolly over-shared too much in CONFESSION TIME entry which I subsequently removed. I wanted my ex-husband to read it and he did. I left the entry up for 24 hours. I know some of my family and friends read it as well. I just wanted to be honest and not allow HIM to threaten me with things he knew about me and did with me. It was only sexual things… no drugs involved at all with ME.
Really need to have a long chat with John. So much I wanna hear his opinion on. He has been sick or working too much lately. Hope to have a long deep conversation with him tomorrow… via webcam.
My hair is rolled in some new velcro curlers I got some Sally Beauty. Can’t wait to see the outcome.
Amazed at how skinny I looked in that striped dress I wore last week. Still wanna lose some more weight. Gotta get down to the nitty gritty and just do it! Rosie only weighs 20 more pounds than me now!
Looks like we may get to go to the movies on Tuesday. Not sure what to see.
Gonna rent Tower Heist on demand tomorrow night.
Took a 2 hour nap this evening. Barely slept. Just rested. This weather is wrecking havoc on my fibromyalgia. Plus I have cut my dosage of my pain meds in half. Will go back to full dose in a week. Just don’t want to get addicted.
Just feeling so much peace lately. Been so stressed out with Rosie being sick for the last 8-9 months. Not easy seeing her so ill and bed ridden at times. Grateful that she is doing better and that we can go out and do things.
At least now I have no issues going out in public. Used to have MAJOR ISSUES leaving the house. Wouldn’t go out unless Rosie MADE ME. So nice to have such a loving sister. I still have panic attacks… mainly in checkout lines. Rapid heartbeat, shaky inside, worst part is the major perspiration. I blame it on menopause “Hot Flashes” but I actually know it is related to my nerves.
I am being coming more self-confident. Losing weight has really helped me. I can do more things but still have aches and pains daily from fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue. There are days when I know I look exquisitely beautiful. I now even go out grocery shopping sans my war paint on occasions! Been wearing shorter dresses to show off my spectacular legs. Man, I am getting conceited. LOL!
I have made so many new friends online. They all have helped me be a better person. Doing my best to be more outgoing online. But still have fears that I am bothering people or that I am saying stupid $hit and being made fun of.
I use to care what STRANGERS, STALKERS, BULLIES online said about me, now I don’t really care what they say. What is most important is what My family and friends think of me …. not what some sorry assed bullies think.
Amazed that I allowed people to bully me and I am over 40. Same Old stuff I allowed people to bully me about in high school… my weight, my lack of relationships, my lack of this or that. I no longer bow down to those who put me down. Screw them all.
My family and friends now the real me and know how special I am. Compassionate, Loving, Intelligent, Humorous, Spiritual, Loyal..
I am gorgeous inside and out!
My Blonde Long-Haired Mini-Dachshund worships the ground I walk on. He adores his Mumsy!
Dad told me and Rosie that if we find a pug on the side of the road that we could have it. Gonna look around shelters and if we find one. I am gonna get Dina or Peggy (Rosie’s Home Health Aides) to go get it and drop it off at our house. LOL!
Rosie is THINKING about getting an IPAD 3 when it comes out. We don’t even have an iphone. Rosie does have an LG Smart phone which we use to make emergency calls, send text messages to John, Twitter, FaceBook… but we have never went online. We pay as you go… I hate talking on the phone and only do it when its an emergency.
Want to Thank Rosie for all the new clothes she bought. She and I will be able to wear the same size soon. :-)
They are days when I THINK about getting a job…. not really possible with having to take care of my handicapped sister Rose Lee. I am on SSI disability for my chronic pain, depression, anxiety, diabetes, kidney failure, high blood pressure, Charcot-Marie-Tooth Syndrome, thyroid, and diabetic neuropathy.
If Rosie continues to improve she and I are going to start aquatic therapy. I am suppose to be in physical therapy for my Fibro but since Rosie has been ill it has been postponed.
My moods are much more stable. Praise The Lord. I couldn’t even stand myself for a few weeks. I hate it when I allow small issues to upset me. I get so down sometimes that all I think of is killing myself. Wish that would stop happening. No one knows what that feels like unless you experience it for yourself.
I just wish I was capable of overcoming my fear of straight men… not scared of gay men at all. I know that they are not interested in me sexually.
I absolutely adore sex, affection, intimacy, just afraid of being hurt again. I know I am gonna have to overcome this. I truly want to.
I have hundreds of men wanting to get to know me better…all online through myspace, facebook, twitter and my personal ads. I am too selective. Just don’t know which to respond to.So I respond to none of them.
I have dated paupers and millionaires.
Unemployed, Store clerks, fry cooks, military, body builders, and entrepreneurs.
Weight from 150 to 340.
Height from 5’6 to 6’5″
Hair color from blonde to black.
Eye color from Blue, Brown, Green.
Goatee’s to mustaches.
I HAVE NO TYPE.
BUT if I had to choose.. he would have dark hair with perhaps some silver. Clean shaven to Scruffy. Over 5’8″. Under 225 lbs. Must LOVE Family, pets, movies, music, traveling, God, and ME!
I truly believe God wants me with a helpmate. I would not have had this fervent desire for 30+ years. I have prayed, cried, begged, pleaded for God to take away this desire or send me my helpmate and so far I still have the desire and I have not found him.
Went to Knoxville today. Rosie saw her gastric bypass surgeon. She has lost over 200 lbs. She only weighs 20 lbs more than me now.
Doc started her on Flagyl to see if her nausea, diarrhea and vomiting responds to it. May be C Diff. Not sure. Plans are for her to be on it for 4 weeks. Off 2 weeks. Back on for 2 weeks. IF she doesn’t start feeling better he is gonna send her to a gastroenterologist.She is still swollen on her right lower abdominal quadrant. CT Scans, Labs. and vitals were all normal.
Went to Ross for Less in Knoxville. We went to the one here in Morristown last weekend. Got so many bargains. All items are size 14 or smaller. I got one dress that is a 9/10. Rosie is gonna try her clothes I got her on tomorrow. Hope she can wear at least one of them now. I know she will be able to wear them by our vacay in May. She is losing 4-5 lbs a week.
I haven’t gained or lost any in over 18 months.. but I have lost 5″ from my waist!
The dress I am wearing is from Ross for Less. Got it for $7.99 YES Seven dollars and 99 cents.
Bought another one like it in muted tones at Ross or Less in Knoxville. . it was $13.99 Exact same dress just a different color.
Rosie and I got a few short PARTY dresses. One was only $5.99 and it is lovely satin material with sparkles.
I think the most expensive item we purchased was $17.99
Went to PETSMART. Got Smoki a new harness. Got Smoki and Snickers both a Monkey Squeaky Toy and a Rawhide Cookie.
Ate at Mimi’s Cafe for lunch. I had a salad with 1 T Sesame Balsamic Vinaigrette. Ate 1/4 of a turkey and cheese croissant with cranberry orange relish. Ate the rest tonight. Dad had Corn Chowder, Slaw and turkey and cheese croissant with cranberry orange relish. He brought half the sandwich home for our dogs. Rosie ate 4 oz of Flat Iron Steak. She explained that she had gastric bypass and didn’t want any potatoes or veggies and asked for a Strawberry/ Pineapple side dish. They brought her a huge plate of it. She brought it home and had it for a snack. She prolly has 8 oz of steak still in the fridge for tomorrow. I am so happy when she eats. She rarely eats ANYTHING cause she feels so nauseous.
Tomorrow, we go for Allergy shots. Have to pick up some meds and go grocery shopping. Rosie also needs to go to Healthstar for a PT test since she is on blood thinner.
Hope she starts feeling able to get out and do more things. Would love to go to the Smokies this weekend. Maybe even to the Cinemas.
Rosie REALLY needs a new wheelchair. The cushion in her chair is so worn out. She slopes down in the chair and ends up with severe back pains. She is due for a new chair in June. Gonna call Medicare and make sure. She will need a much smaller chair! Her wheelchair weighs 375 lbs without her even in it!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY FRIEND SHANE.
Praying for everyone. On my mind tonight are all those affected by the storms and tornadoes. Sad.
Heading to bed shortly. Tired. Been up since 9 am. That is way early for me. Normally my wake up time is after 1 pm. I like to stay up till 3-5 am. Always been a night owl.
Can’t get *him* off my mind… not sure what to do. Decisions. Decisions. Asking God to Guide the both of us. I SURRENDER US.
Another *him* Wondering if I should overtly FLIRT with him. Afraid of ruining our friendship. He sorta flirts… just not sure. I am so dumb when it comes to Men! UGH! Asking God to Guide the both of us. I SURRENDER US.
Another *him*…. this him is the one I am suppose to spend eternity with… Wherever he is tonight, dear Lord, Keep him safe and warm. Speak to his spirit and let him know I am the one. Guide he and I together. Protect both our families and our friends. I Pray for patience until the day we walk into one each others life. Prepare us both for the journey we are suppose to take together. Bring people into our lives that can help us grow. People that we can help. Let our smiles, hearts and words encourage other people. USE US BOTH. I take it upon myself and surrender both he and I to the LORD! Use us for Your glory. Let him feel the holy spirit right at this moment. Speak to his heart. Comfort us both with the hope of finding each other. I hope Soon but I defer to God cause I know God’s timing is perfect.
Rosie had a pretty good day. Just haven’t ate much.She wanted Orange Roughy for supper. Just made it for her. 2 bites and she started vomiting. Her Family Doc is checking her for MRSA and C. Diff. She has had both previously. I just want Rosie to be able to eat, keep it down and be back to her old loveable fun self! Hate seeing her so sick.
I took a siesta today. Barely fell asleep. Just nice to rest. We had to turn the air-conditioner on today! Wow.
Rosie wants to go out tomorrow night. Hope she feels like it. We need to get our party on! LOL!
Very upset at Facebook. Under the messages on the left side, their is an OTHER folder. I had 100′s of messages I had never seen. Some old, some new.
Some were from my ex. I haven’t heard from him in 17-18 years. (Have seen his MUGSHOTS) I forgave him a long time ago, Just wish he could forgive himself, and find some peace. Pray that he has stopped drinking , smoking, and carousing. That would be a blessing to all those who surround him.
I decided I needed a nap and missed chat with John. He went to bed early. Hope to spend Friday webcamming with him. I have known him for almost 5 years now. We love and understand one another more than married couples. COMMUNICATION is so important. Someday we spend 10 min talking… some days hours. Support. Friendship. Laughing. Playing. Joking. Teasing. LOVE HIM!
IF Rosie feels like it we may go to the movies this weekend.
SnickerDoodle is all snugly this evening. He took a nap with me and so did Tater Bug.
Prayers to all my family and friends. I am blessed with both.
Going to Knoxville tomorrow. Rose’s has an appt with her surgeon. She is still swollen from her hernia repair surgery. Painful as well. Hope Dr Boyce can drain the seroma tomorrow. Hope she does not have to be hospitalized. I pray that Rosie gets healthy and STAY healthy.
Angela Rose’s Day Spa has been open for an hour. Getting all beautified for our trip tomorrow.
Completed Facial, Shaving, Hair deep-conditioned and Curled.
Pedicure completed.
Raven Black Toenails.
Doing manicure later tonight. Either black or silver.
Going to start to whiten my teeth tonight. Already did a scrub with Baking Soda. Feels so clean. Rosie got me an Electric toothbrush for Christmas. Going to start using it tomorrow. Also have Crest 3D White Intensive Professional Effects Whitestrips with Advanced Seal Technology Kit.
Gave Rosie a facial after her home health aide bathed her and shampooed her hair. She wants to get dolled up tomorrow… IF she is able to. She is still having nausea and diarrhea.
Somehow I ran out of my anti-anxiety med Buspar and didn’t notice it till last night. Back on it now. I apologize for being so moody and dramatic. Buspar should get me back to somewhat normal moods.
As my regular readers know, I lost almost 30% of my hair after my gastric bypass… which is fairly common. At the time of surgery my hair was almost to my waist. I ended up cutting it to my shoulders to make it look fuller. Which it did. Last month I had all sorts of new hair that had grown in and was all sorts of weird lengths so I cut off 4 inches. It is now growing out again. EVEN MORE FULLER THAN PRIOR TO SURGERY. Hope to get it back down to my waist again. Will take 2-3 years. I will wear 100% human hair extensions occasionally just to change my look… as you know I love to do.
Thankful that over the past 20 years I have grown up so much. A totally different person than I was. Wisdom and knowledge is such a blessing. So grateful for the people who helped me get to the point I am now in life. Doubly Blessed in that Department.
Have so much peace and serenity today. Thank all of you for the well wishes and prayers. Getting a decent nights sleep helped tremendously.
Haven’t heard from a few friends… hope I didn’t say or do something to offend them. IF I did I apologize. I miss them. SAD.
Hope Rosie feels well enough to go to the Mall in Knoxville. Plans are to eat at Mimi’s Cafe. Have a coupon for Buy an Entree get one FREE!
I am planning on wearing a black floral short dress tomorrow with black pantyhose and black knee-high boots. I have a pink cardigan to wear IF it is cold. Will probably do full makeup. Maybe even add false eyelashes. Depends IF I have time. I have to get up at 7 am. My bedtime has bed 4 am or later for weeks. Hope to get to bed by 11-12 tonight.
Sending much love to everyone. Pray that everyone in the world has LOVE, Serenity, Health, and knows and LOVES GOD.
Rosie had a bad day. Diarrhea, Nausea, and Vomiting. Still having swelling and pain in her abdomen. Hate seeing her be so miserable. She sees her surgeon on Wednesday.
My moods fluctuated wildly today. So worried about Rosie.
Did get in an hour of housework. Chronic Fatigue and Fibromyalgia sucks.
Didn’t get to see John tonight. Pray he is feeling better. Poor Baby.
Missing some of my friends. Pray that they are doing well.
With Rosie going through good days and bad days since her gastric bypass (June 26th, 2011) is really taking its toll on me. I have to do more since she feels so bad. Hasn’t been on her laptop, netbook or PC in over a week now.Yep, Rosie and I have our own laptop and netbook but we share the PC.
I get thrilled when she is feeling good and then severely depressed when she isn’t.A ROLLER COASTER OF EMOTIONS!
Haven’t slept well in over a week. May get in 2 straight hours at a time. Frustrating but Rosie needs my assistance with so many things.
Hope to get all dolled up for our trip to Knoxville on Wed. Hope to take some new pics.
Missing my family in WV but will see them soon as Rosie feels better. Will stay at Twin Falls in a cabin.
Hope that I can sleep 4 straight hours tonight. Would make me feel so much better.
Sending love to all my readers. Thanks for your prayers, support, and words of encouragement.
Well, Rosie is doing ok. Has a blood clot in her left leg. It has been swollen and painful. It is only superficial.
Her umbilical hernia has been repaired twice in 10 years. It will be repaired again on Monday at ParkWest Hospital, and she will be also having a tummy tuck. She has lost 15″ off her waist now. Dropped over 175 lbs. She even has lost 3″ off her neck. She has had a few good days. Her intestines are poking out from the hernia. Looks weird…. you can see it move and all. It causes her to have nausea. She has actually ate the past few days. She goes days without much nutrition at all. Just doesn’t want to eat. Hoping the hernia repair makes her less nauseous. I love her so much. She can now wear size 8-9 panties! Smallest shirt has been a 14.
She will be fitted for a new electric wheelchair in June. She is so excited. Her current chair sucks! Gonna try and see IF she will fit in our Mom’s old electric wheelchair tomorrow. Hope she can. It would be much more comfy for her. She has been wheelchair bound since she was 16. Can’t walk at all. She can stand for about 10 sec. Rosie will be 45 in May. She is perhaps the happiest person I have ever met. Proud to call her my best friend and My Sissy!
Had another CT SCAN on my tummy and nothing abnormal was found. Even though I have not lost any additional weight My waist is down to 35″ now. Was 40. Guess I am STILL Shaping up. I have lost 110 lbs. My hips are 38″ without measuring the excess skin hanging from my tummy. Smallest dress I have worn is a 10. I am gonna lose a few more pounds and somehow TRY to get my insurance to pay for a tummy tuck. WISH ME LUCK!
Still having aches and pains from Chronic Fatigue and Fibromyalgia. Shoulders, Thighs, Knee’s, Elbows, Hands and Feet. Seems that will never change. Insomnia is not as bad. TRIED sleeping without my sleep meds the other night. Finally gave in and took em at 6:30 am and slept like a babe. Wish I didn’t get so tired, so easily.
I have made a few more friends via Twitter and Facebook. Some I consider dear friends. I am blessed. Panic attacks have lessened. Doing my best to become more outgoing. Being more receptive to men.
Sending special prayers to Brandy, John, Dreama, Bret, Shane, Chrissy, Stephen, Janna, Russell, Carmen, Rebecca, Terri, Sara, Becky, Charles, Shay, Blake, JR, Sue, Earlene, and Rick.
♥ LOVE U ALL ♥
I know that this year will be MY YEAR!
My moods swings have stabilized for now.
I started allergy shots a few weeks ago.
Still close to John. He gives me so much support, encouragement and serenity.
I am more confident than ever. I even go out grocery shopping without any makeup.
Receiving lots of attention from the male species. Loving it. Receiving just as many flirts when I have no makeup on as I do with full Drag-Queen makeup.
Grateful that I don’t look 46. Some people think I am in my early 20′s….. love that!
I cut Rosie’s hair in a medium length shag. First time we curled it was tonight. Can’t wait to see the results tomorrow.
Plan are to go to West Virginia in March. All depends on Rosie’s recovery.
Dad is taking THE BOYS “Smoki and Snickers” everywhere we go”.
Tater Bug
Jazzi
Punkin
Our life is good and is only gonna get better!
Hopefully over the next few months we will be able to share some very exciting news and changes happening in Our lives. We have High Hopes.
After 17 years of celibacy I have decided to date!
Praying for wisdom, guidance and patience.
I am also becoming more extroverted online and in the real world.
Been blessed to be making more friends online. I am actually messaging a few male friends back now. :-) MAJOR ADVANCEMENT !
BUCKET LIST:
Date Again!
See the ocean.
Fly in a plane.
Get my passport.
Get married again.
Use all the gifts God gave me.
Be more supportive of everyone… except Republicans. LOL!
Be more compassionate.
Be more outgoing.
Stop having social anxiety and panic attacks.
Get use to talking on the phone without having a panic attack.
Get healthier.
Smile more.
Help those less fortunate.
Be more patient.
Be more vocal online.
Lose more weight.
Make new friends.
I have a few men that I am interested in. Just wanting for them to make a move. Having all kinds of men flirt with me online and reality… I am now trying to FLIRT with guys in person. Social Anxiety Sucks!
I am so proud of Rosie. She has lost 175 lbs now. She will be able to get fitted for a new wheelchair in July! Rosie only weighs 35 lbs more than me now. Looking great! You go sis! Rosie is wearing size 20-22 jeans now.
I am down to size 10-12 in jeans. :-) Down from a 26. WOO-HOO.
Rosie and I both are now getting allergy shots.
Thinking about talking to my family doc about my mood swings.
May even start seeing a shrink again.
Wish Rosie would not have so much nausea and vomiting. She even had a dizzy spell today.
Having fibromyalgia aches and pains.. plus Fibro Fog. I hate the mental confusion it creates. Not thinking clearly. Seems like I think in slow-mo. HATE IT!
Enjoying my new puppy. SnickerDoodle, he is a BLONDE Long haired Miniature Dachshund, who worships me!
Snickers gets along with all our pets: Smoki, Jazzi, Punkin, Panther and Tater.
Snickers loves going bye-bye.
Smoki and Snickers love baskin-robbins ice cream. Take them every few weeks.
My Best friend John has been having health issues. I am worried about him. Pray that he gets better and that he sleeps well.
I have been wearing short skirts, pantyhose and knee high leather boots. I have fabulous legs! Bet I tried on 20 pairs of boots till I found one to fit my skinny legs.
I layered my hair a few weeks ago and can’t believe how wavy it is naturally.
Haven’t had much sleep lately. Rosie wakes me up a few times nightly. Tummy issues. Pray that I get some decent sleep tonight.
Praying for the man I was created for, the one God designed for me. I KNOW you are out there waiting for me. Thinking of me. Praying for me. Maybe we already know one another. Grant US both wisdom, guidance, & patience. Open up our hearts, minds, souls, and spirits to recognize each other when the time is right. Happy about my future. I know it is gonna be a good one!
I believe that God speaks and gives signs to some people… I pray that this night that God speaks to me and/or to my helpmate. Let US know. Comfort us. Give us patience. Let US Dream of one another.
Hope to travel to WV to see my family in a few weeks. I love and miss them dearly.
I am so proud of my sissy Rosie… She has lost 170 lbs in the last year. She is only 40 lbs away from my weight now. Just wish she didn’t have nausea so often. Praying for her.
I am still having bloating, gas, left quadrant pain, diarrhea alternating with constipation. Dr Boyce got my insurance to approve an abdominal CT scan.. It is scheduled on Tuesday. IF It shows what Dr Boyce expects he will be able to correct the roux-en-y surgery and help me lose additional weight. would love to lose 50-75 additional pounds. I am still over 200lbs. Barely but still! Wearing a size 12 now.
Love all the new male attention. I have a slew of online male suitors. Hoping one in particular asks for my phone number.Had a gorgeous man from Atlanta interested in me…. but he turned out to be a jerk. Have so many young BOYS wanting to get to know me better. I will only date men over 40. Not interested in any man who is under 40 at all. I have a few online personal ads… all state you must be a SINGLE/DIVORCED Male, a Christian, a Democrat, and over 40. Must love family, movies, music, pets and traveling. Other than that I am pretty open to talking to a man.
John and I are still very close. We will always be close…. but both know and accept the fact that we will never be together.
I am tired. Hope to update more on what has been happening in our lives later this week.
My sis Rosie had her 3 month Gastric Bypass Checkup. Since Feb she has lost over +125 lbs. She only weighs 66 lbs more than me now. You go Sis! Just wish her nausea would dissipate. Her hernia wound has healed enough and was told she can now start aquatic therapy!!! Woo-Hoo! Calling the Boy and Girls Club as well as Jefferson Community Pool tomorrow. Hope to start on Monday. LIFE IS GOOD!
I saw Dr. Stephen G. Boyce, who did Rosie’s gastric bypass surgery, today. I am having him investigate my continuing gastro-intestinal issues that has bothered me ever since I had my roux-en-y on Sept 14th, 2009. He has a few theories on why I only lost 50 or so pounds from the roux-en-y surgery. I should have lost 100+ lbs. Theories are my pouch should be smaller: 15 ml and not 30ml. More of my intestines need bypassed. Scar tissue. Bowel Kink.
I am having an abdominal CT Scan on Nov 1st.
*IF* it is what Dr Boyce thinks it may be, I will have to undergo another Laparoscopic surgery and I should be able to lose more weight. My BMI is still 35.3. Still OBESE!
Still suffering from upper left quadrant abdominal pains, bloating, gas and diarrhea. Severe at times.
Just hoping that some of Dr Boyce’s theories show up on the CT scan and that I can have another lap surgery and get on my way to a healthier life. He hopes it is due more to my lower bowel area than a problem with my upper stomach region. Lower gastrointestinal prob will be much easier to fix… than an upper one.
He is starting me on flagyl and was suggesting Cholestyramine till I told him I was already on Welchol. They are in the same family of meds. I have tired Cholestyramine in the past unsuccessfully.
I had gastric bypass to help me get off some of my meds. Well, I am off insulin but now on 3 NEW meds for my stomach issues!!! My current med list:
Atenolol Heart Rate/Blood Pressure Bentyl Irritable Bowel Buspar Social Anxiety Cymbalta Depression/Fibromyalgia/ CMT Loperamide Irritable Bowel Lortab Chronic Fatigue//Fibromyalgia Meta-Glip Diabetes/Insulin Resistance Synthroid Hypothyroid Trazodone Depression/Insomnia Welchol Irritable Bowel Xanax Anxiety/Insomnia Fish Oil Multi Vitamin/Mineral Biotin IRON Probiotic Vitamin B Complex D3
I AM A WALKING PHARMACY! LOL!
I really need to lose weight to help with my Charcot Marie Tooth Syndrome “CMT” which I was recently diagnosed with.
CMT Morbus Charcot-Marie-Tooth, Charcot-Marie-Tooth neuropathy, hereditary motor and sensory neuropathy (HMSN), hereditary sensorimotor neuropathy (HSMN), or peroneal muscular atrophy, is an inherited disorder of nerves (neuropathy) that takes different forms. It is characterized by loss of muscle tissue and touch sensation, predominantly in the feet and legs but also in the hands and arms in the advanced stages of disease. Currently incurable.
I inherited it from my dad. My legs and feet are getting weaker. I have extremely high arches and claw toes. When I walk, all my weight lands on the balls of my feet and not evenly as it is suppose to. My feet are starting to turn outward. Have very tight Achilles tendons. Gluts and Quads are also too tight. I started therapy last week to help prevent further damage. I have had issues all my life with twisting my ankles, losing my balance, and falling. At least now I know there is a reason and not just my clumsiness! CMT is a Muscular Dystrophy disease.
Angela October 20th, 2011 Dr Boyce's Office.
Still desiring to lose 50-75 additional pounds… with Dr Boyce’s surgical mind, capable hands, and his wonderful compassion, coupled with my rejuvenated desire to lose more weight; I am sure it can be accomplished.
I have been exercising for 15-30 min a day. Using resistant bands, stretches, and isometrics. Hope to go to aquatic aerobics 2-3 times a week. I will have to rise and shine by 7 am on the days we go… Just have to start getting my rump in bed earlier than the 4 am I am accustomed to.
I am so tired today. Got up at 8 am. Now my upper abdominal area is extended. Bloated horribly. Has been for a few hours. Miserable.
Went to Puleos in Strawberry Plains. I had a salad (greens, cheese, tomatoes, croutons, and cucumbers) homemade Italian dressing… I may have used 1 Tablespoon. Got stuffed after the salad and only had 3-4 bites of citrus chicken and 2 bites of sirloin. 3 bites of sesame noodles. One bite of bread.
I have known John for almost 4 years now. He and I text chat with video cam. No audio. I am just too shy… I finally made him a video of me taking to him with Audio. I have never made a video of myself until now.., BUT Damn I am so cute!!! Adorable. Sweet Southern Voice. John loved it! Gonna audio Chat with him LIVE this week. Think I have enough courage to do it. His step-grandsons (13 and 15) are out of school on Fall break and have been staying with him all week. Lucky to even see him on cam this week let alone TALK to him live… Hope to webcam chat with audio over the weekend.
We are heading out to pick up meds tomorrow and then gonna drive bye FrightMare Manor http://frightmaremanor.com/ to see how busy they are. It is about 2.5 miles from my house. Extremely popular attraction.
I am getting more confidence and self esteem. Feeling womanly. Dressing sexier. Receiving lots of male attention. :-)
Been playing with makeup. Tried a few different looks this week. Some were nice… others.. eh… not so much. LOL!
I wore a black mini-dress. It is called Bandage Dress. Got it 2 years ago and finally wore it for the first time today. It is a size 16 but I could have easily worn it in a size 12. Really pleased with the way my legs looked today! Main body issue I hate is my saggy flabby tummy. Lots of loose skin there. My face is also sagging some. Been doing facial exercises and hope that it get taunter. I also have a few wrinkles on my forehead… but hell I look spectacular to be almost 46 years old! LOL!
October 20, 2011
Hoping to visit my West Virginia Family in a few weeks. Missing them all. Sending love and prayers to all of them especially to Brandy, Sara, Becky and MaShayla. Praying that Shay’s cat Zena comes home soon. Sending get well wishes to Aunt Earlene. We are hoping to stay in a Cabin At Twin Falls Resort… if one of the handicapped cabins is available the weekend we go in.
My snack tonight will be low fat mozzarella string cheese and a few red seedless grapes…. and then off to bed.
I had a burst of energy today and did housework for over an hour. I even cooked strip steaks and cinnamony sweet tater fries… but now I am hurting severely in my shoulders and thighs. UGH! I visit my rheumy tomorrow in regards to my fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue syndrome, and insomnia.
I have an appt to see a podiatrist on Thursday. I have 4 open raw sore on my feet from a new pair of shoes. I am a diabetic and worry a lot when I even get s small scratch on my feet.
I had gastric bypass roux-en-y surgery 2 years ago.I see Dr Boyce, a gastric bypass surgeon, next week. Dr Boyce is checking to see why I lost only 50 lbs from the surgery. I should have lost 100 or more.
I lost 50 lbs PRIOR to surgery and then 50 lbs by my 6th month anniversary. I weighed the same for my 1 year and 18th month anniversary. I have lost additional weight the past few months but that is from me starving myself.
He has received my medical records from my surgeon Dr Mancini. I am hoping that Dr Boyce will order some tests to check out my stomach ‘pouch’ to see if it has stretched or if there is something wrong with the surgery. I am having some stomach issues. Pain in my left quadrant, severe diarrhea and gas. Even had 2 “accidents” the past few days. UGH! Thought that the welchol, bentyl and Imodium trio had cured that but I was wrong.
I have always felt something was not right with my surgery. I started complaining to Dr Mancini and his staff 2 weeks after I had surgery… I had some tests and all according to him they were normal… but I was having green diarrhea, and severe gnawing upper left quadrant pain. Eventually Dr Mancini did exploratory surgery and discovered that I had scar tissue. Repaired that. I felt better for a few days after that but I STILL have the same problems now.
I was not happy at all with losing just 50 lbs after undergoing MAJOR surgery. I should have lost 60-80% of my excess weight. I was 165-200 lbs overweight (depending on the insurance chart and body frame I should weigh anywhere from 115 to 155) when my journey started. I am STILL at least 50 lbs overweight!!! UGH!
John thinks I am getting too skinny. He suggests once I make my next goal weight being under 200, which I am only a few pounds away from, that I will stop ‘trying’ to lose weight.
I dream of weighing less than 175. I would be ok at that weight. But I would even be happier at 125!
Dad thinks I am too skinny now as well. MEN!
Just hoping and praying that Dr Boyce checks me out thoroughly and somehow helps me lose a few more pounds.
Bought a pair of fleece HALLOWEEN pants from Wally World… size MEDIUM 8-10… and they are too big on me…. loose and baggy. There is no way that a 200 lb woman should fit in a size small… I hate vanity sizing. According to these pants….I can only imagine how baggy a size small would be on a girl who is a size 2-4-6-8…since a medium is too big on me.
According to my measurements I am a 12/14 on the majority of sizing charts…. but once I put on clothing according to the size charts I realize that you can NOT believe them at all. Varied so much. There should be STANDARD measurements that all clothing manufactures should follow. I know I harp on this often … just a pet peeve of mine.
All the excess skin in my tummy region is driving me insane. So flabby and ugly… and painful. I end up with underbelly rashes often. Dr Melling has me on nystatin cream. Insurance won’t pay for the nystatin powder. I believe if I had a tummy tuck I could wear a size 8-10 easily.
Just hoping Rosie gets medical clearance so she and I can start water aerobics.
I KNOW I am in hyper mode and rambling.
I can be hyper and lucid one minute and the next minute I am incoherent with brain fog. UGH!
Sending my love and prayers to John. He was diagnosed with Tennis elbow. Poor baby is in so much pain that he hasn’t been sleeping well. Pray he sleeps well tonight.
Over the past few years so many wonderful and exciting changes have came into my life. Some I help create, some were surprisingly sprung upon me and some transformations that I never even knew I wanted suddenly came galloping into my life. Hope that the metamorphosis continues.
I currently weigh over 100 lbs less than my highest weight of 315 lbs. (I am STILL over 200 lbs.) Gastric Bypass “Lap Roux-En-Y” and a low carb and high protein diet helped me get to this point. I would love to lose 25-35 additional lbs. I was on that way to that goal when Rosie (my sissy) underwent her Gastric Bypass “Lap Biliopancreatic Diversion with Duodenal Switch” and her subsequent MRSA infections derailed my weight loss. I gained 4 lbs. in the last 2 months. I am one of those people who EAT carbs when stressed and having my baby sister so ill, whom I am a caregiver for, was extremely stressful for me… hence I ate way more carbs than a diabetic or a gastric bypass patient should. At times, I still do. Rosie had nausea and some vomiting today so I ate a bunch of Hershey miniature candies and 2 bananas.. Sugar is 272 as I type this. Should be 70-120.. So disappointed in myself but I am gonna gain control… I have to.
All week I have had so much energy… well spurts of it at least. Right now I am hyper. Will prolly clean the dining area prior to bed. So glad that I am having SOME energy since I have virtually none the majority of the time due to chronic fatigue syndrome and fibromyalgia. Thinking back it seems I ALWAYS feel better in Sept/October… wondering if the cooler weather benefits me more than hot weather does. I have never tolerated HOT weather. Hmmm… gonna have to move to a more temperate climate … sunny, mild and breezy sounds lovely… Hawaii sounds about right!
I have so many plans for my future. Really gungho. I am gonna lose those 25-35 NAGGING lingering pounds…. and when I do I am gonna go have a tummy tuck. I absolutely positively detest my saggy and baggy lose skin in my stomach Panniculus region. I bet I could wear a size 6 or an 8 jean if I didn’t have this excess skin! In stretch denim I can wear a size 12 now.
I was this same weight 20 years ago when I married and divorced Michael Patterson Hager, Jr. He and I married 20 Years ago on Sunday. Divorced shortly after. He was just a brain fart in my life. LOL! I can NOT believe I married such a low life and gave up my virginity to him. (yep I was a 25 year old virgin. I was NO ANGEL…. He and I did fool around some prior to the wedding but I saved the best for last) I honestly am such a different lady now… Not as naive.
Age, Wisdom, Time, and Growth go hand in hand.
There have been times when I have acted high and mighty towards others and said things I regret. Acted like I was better than they were and I wish I hadn’t. I ask those whom I did this to to forgive me. I am no angel. Have never been and will never be. I am HUMAN and make mistakes like everyone else does.
I am very shy around those that I don’t know very well… BUT those close to me know that in actuality, I can be flirty, bawdy, raucous, and even hilarious. I hate having social anxiety. It keeps me from forming relationships… online and in real life. It has been 17 years since I dated. Yes…. it will be…. SEVENTEEN Years…. on Nov 18th. I have a wonderful ONLINE ONLY friendship with John. Known him for almost 4 years now.
You would never know it from reading my journal or my postings online but I have a high Intelligence Quotient… major issue I have is saying something that makes me look like a fool… or worrying about hurting other peoples feelings…. I worry way too much about what other people THINKS about me. Oh yep… I am also snobbishly proud to be the QUEEN Of the Ellipsis… LOL!
I want “THE REAL ANGELA” to come across online and in reality. I wish everyone could see the Angela that my sis Rosie and My Friend John sees. That would be a major breakthrough. I am gonna attempt to accomplish that and many other goals. 2011 has only a few months left and in those few months they are gonna be some spectacular changes in me. My appearance has changed dramatically in the 2 years, since I had gastric bypass and now is the time for my personality to shine brilliantly…. like a diamond in the sky. Sparking. Twinkling. Radiantly. Everlasting.
My renewed faith is strong and I know I can do anything I set my mind to.
I have to thank my beloved John for helping me get to this point in my life. He is the greatest man I have ever known after my Daddy. He is always there for me. Supportive. Compassionate. Considerate. Helpful. Complimentary. He is a professional. Works for the Scottish Government. Wears suits and Ties. WOW.. I loved the way he looked tonight. Majority of the time I see him in sweats but the past few evenings he has been working late and came to our webcam chat in his business attire. Tonight was a black dress shirt and a black and white polka dotted tie. So spiffy. Fashionable. I adore that he is so intelligent. He loves computers as much as I do. Knowledgeable in so many varied subjects… so unlike all the other men I have loved. Yes LOVED> I love that rascal and he loves me. He and I will remain ONLY friends unless God has other plans but for now it is a friendship. A partnership. He and I are emotionally closer than the preponderance of husbands and wives. He and I support one another. Comfort each other. ‘GET’ one another. So happy that I replied to his message 4 years ago. I knew immediately he was different. He and I met at a BBW “Big Beautiful Woman” friendship site… which has since shuttered.
John has been having some problems with his arm/elbow after falling off a ladder last weekend. Having major trouble sleeping. Pray that he gets a good nights sleep. I can’t wait to see him tomorrow night.
I have been tidying up my bedroom so John and I can have a private talk. It has been a long time since we chatted in private. Maybe twice in the last 2 years. Have been chatting on my laptop in Rosie’s room. Been TEXT chatting only… hope to talk by phone/webcam chat this weekend. He only has been seeing my face on webcam…. This weekend I will let him see me and the weight I have since lost.
I am experiencing body issues. Nothing new…. I was 315 lbs when I met John… and I was actually more comfy with my body then than I am now. I used to be way more provocative back then. I miss that part of me. Lately I have been wearing short dresses and tighter clothes. Even dyed my hair back to the color it was 20 years ago when I weighed the same. BLACK hair just suits me better. Even been wearing human hair extensions and wigs. Gastric bypass caused me to lose some of my luxurious mane. I cut over 15″ off over a year ago to see if that would make it look fuller. It didn’t…. Still almost as thin. My hair is now 23″ long again. It was over 30″ prior to the bypass. Hope to get it that long again. It is very healthy. Shiny. Just straggly and scrawny. Especially in the front area. :-( I am just thankful that they make decent and affordable hair extensions and wigs now. I do wear my own hair the majority of the time but [...]
Rosie is doing great. She is having a ct scan with dye today. They hope to discover no more abscesses in her abdomen. Will prolly remove the drain to the abscess above her bladder. She can’t eat anything till after the CT scan. She is drinking dye mixed with Crystal Light Ice Tea. She says it is Yucky.
IF everything goes well she will get to go home tomorrow!!! YAY! Woo-Hoo!
They stopped the TPN feedings and fluids. Dr Adams (infectious disease doc) says Rosie will no longer need any antibiotics. So she hopefully, will no longer need a picc line.
I am praying all is well and that WE get to go home!!!
I had severe nausea for a few hours last night. Also having a sinus/allergy attack. Woke up at 4 am feeling really bad. Doing ok now.
Rosie’s White Blood Count is down to 20,000. YAY!!!!!!! That means her infection is improving! She is eating some bacon and cantaloupe for breakfast.
Doctor Boyce her gastric bypass surgeon (biliopancreatic diversion with duodenal switch) says she may get to go home in a few days!!!!! So happy. I love my sissy!!!
From @ButlerBlue2: Me, @ButlerBlue3 & the one & only Gasoline Alley at @IMS. -- via Flickr
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