Rosie had a bad day. Diarrhea, Nausea, and Vomiting. Still having swelling and pain in her abdomen. Hate seeing her be so miserable. She sees her surgeon on Wednesday.
My moods fluctuated wildly today. So worried about Rosie.
Did get in an hour of housework. Chronic Fatigue and Fibromyalgia sucks.
Didn’t get to see John tonight. Pray he is feeling better. Poor Baby.
Missing some of my friends. Pray that they are doing well.
With Rosie going through good days and bad days since her gastric bypass (June 26th, 2011) is really taking its toll on me. I have to do more since she feels so bad. Hasn’t been on her laptop, netbook or PC in over a week now.Yep, Rosie and I have our own laptop and netbook but we share the PC.
I get thrilled when she is feeling good and then severely depressed when she isn’t.A ROLLER COASTER OF EMOTIONS!
Haven’t slept well in over a week. May get in 2 straight hours at a time. Frustrating but Rosie needs my assistance with so many things.
Hope to get all dolled up for our trip to Knoxville on Wed. Hope to take some new pics.
Missing my family in WV but will see them soon as Rosie feels better. Will stay at Twin Falls in a cabin.
Hope that I can sleep 4 straight hours tonight. Would make me feel so much better.
Sending love to all my readers. Thanks for your prayers, support, and words of encouragement.
Well, Rosie is doing ok. Has a blood clot in her left leg. It has been swollen and painful. It is only superficial.
Her umbilical hernia has been repaired twice in 10 years. It will be repaired again on Monday at ParkWest Hospital, and she will be also having a tummy tuck. She has lost 15″ off her waist now. Dropped over 175 lbs. She even has lost 3″ off her neck. She has had a few good days. Her intestines are poking out from the hernia. Looks weird…. you can see it move and all. It causes her to have nausea. She has actually ate the past few days. She goes days without much nutrition at all. Just doesn’t want to eat. Hoping the hernia repair makes her less nauseous. I love her so much. She can now wear size 8-9 panties! Smallest shirt has been a 14.
She will be fitted for a new electric wheelchair in June. She is so excited. Her current chair sucks! Gonna try and see IF she will fit in our Mom’s old electric wheelchair tomorrow. Hope she can. It would be much more comfy for her. She has been wheelchair bound since she was 16. Can’t walk at all. She can stand for about 10 sec. Rosie will be 45 in May. She is perhaps the happiest person I have ever met. Proud to call her my best friend and My Sissy!
Had another CT SCAN on my tummy and nothing abnormal was found. Even though I have not lost any additional weight My waist is down to 35″ now. Was 40. Guess I am STILL Shaping up. I have lost 110 lbs. My hips are 38″ without measuring the excess skin hanging from my tummy. Smallest dress I have worn is a 10. I am gonna lose a few more pounds and somehow TRY to get my insurance to pay for a tummy tuck. WISH ME LUCK!
Still having aches and pains from Chronic Fatigue and Fibromyalgia. Shoulders, Thighs, Knee’s, Elbows, Hands and Feet. Seems that will never change. Insomnia is not as bad. TRIED sleeping without my sleep meds the other night. Finally gave in and took em at 6:30 am and slept like a babe. Wish I didn’t get so tired, so easily.
I have made a few more friends via Twitter and Facebook. Some I consider dear friends. I am blessed. Panic attacks have lessened. Doing my best to become more outgoing. Being more receptive to men.
Sending special prayers to Brandy, John, Dreama, Bret, Shane, Chrissy, Stephen, Janna, Russell, Carmen, Rebecca, Terri, Sara, Becky, Charles, Shay, Blake, JR, Sue, Earlene, and Rick.
♥ LOVE U ALL ♥
I know that this year will be MY YEAR!
My moods swings have stabilized for now.
I started allergy shots a few weeks ago.
Still close to John. He gives me so much support, encouragement and serenity.
I am more confident than ever. I even go out grocery shopping without any makeup.
Receiving lots of attention from the male species. Loving it. Receiving just as many flirts when I have no makeup on as I do with full Drag-Queen makeup.
Grateful that I don’t look 46. Some people think I am in my early 20′s….. love that!
I cut Rosie’s hair in a medium length shag. First time we curled it was tonight. Can’t wait to see the results tomorrow.
Plan are to go to West Virginia in March. All depends on Rosie’s recovery.
Dad is taking THE BOYS “Smoki and Snickers” everywhere we go”.
Tater Bug
Jazzi
Punkin
Our life is good and is only gonna get better!
Hopefully over the next few months we will be able to share some very exciting news and changes happening in Our lives. We have High Hopes.
After 17 years of celibacy I have decided to date!
Praying for wisdom, guidance and patience.
I am also becoming more extroverted online and in the real world.
Been blessed to be making more friends online. I am actually messaging a few male friends back now. MAJOR ADVANCEMENT !
BUCKET LIST:
Date Again!
See the ocean.
Fly in a plane.
Get my passport.
Get married again.
Use all the gifts God gave me.
Be more supportive of everyone… except Republicans. LOL!
Be more compassionate.
Be more outgoing.
Stop having social anxiety and panic attacks.
Get use to talking on the phone without having a panic attack.
Get healthier.
Smile more.
Help those less fortunate.
Be more patient.
Be more vocal online.
Lose more weight.
Make new friends.
I have a few men that I am interested in. Just wanting for them to make a move. Having all kinds of men flirt with me online and reality… I am now trying to FLIRT with guys in person. Social Anxiety Sucks!
I am so proud of Rosie. She has lost 175 lbs now. She will be able to get fitted for a new wheelchair in July! Rosie only weighs 35 lbs more than me now. Looking great! You go sis! Rosie is wearing size 20-22 jeans now.
I am down to size 10-12 in jeans. Down from a 26. WOO-HOO.
Rosie and I both are now getting allergy shots.
Thinking about talking to my family doc about my mood swings.
May even start seeing a shrink again.
Wish Rosie would not have so much nausea and vomiting. She even had a dizzy spell today.
Having fibromyalgia aches and pains.. plus Fibro Fog. I hate the mental confusion it creates. Not thinking clearly. Seems like I think in slow-mo. HATE IT!
Enjoying my new puppy. SnickerDoodle, he is a BLONDE Long haired Miniature Dachshund, who worships me!
Snickers gets along with all our pets: Smoki, Jazzi, Punkin, Panther and Tater.
Snickers loves going bye-bye.
Smoki and Snickers love baskin-robbins ice cream. Take them every few weeks.
My Best friend John has been having health issues. I am worried about him. Pray that he gets better and that he sleeps well.
I have been wearing short skirts, pantyhose and knee high leather boots. I have fabulous legs! Bet I tried on 20 pairs of boots till I found one to fit my skinny legs.
I layered my hair a few weeks ago and can’t believe how wavy it is naturally.
Haven’t had much sleep lately. Rosie wakes me up a few times nightly. Tummy issues. Pray that I get some decent sleep tonight.
Praying for the man I was created for, the one God designed for me. I KNOW you are out there waiting for me. Thinking of me. Praying for me. Maybe we already know one another. Grant US both wisdom, guidance, & patience. Open up our hearts, minds, souls, and spirits to recognize each other when the time is right. Happy about my future. I know it is gonna be a good one!
I believe that God speaks and gives signs to some people… I pray that this night that God speaks to me and/or to my helpmate. Let US know. Comfort us. Give us patience. Let US Dream of one another.
Hope to travel to WV to see my family in a few weeks. I love and miss them dearly.
Been in the grasp of a fibromylagia / chronic fatigue syndrome flare-up. May be the worst episode ever. My Rheumatologist can’t see me for 2 weeks but I have an appt to see my family doc tomorrow.
Current Symptoms are:
Aches and Pains in legs, arms, thighs, shoulders, neck
Swollen Joints
Weakness
Dizziness
Cloudy Muddled Thoughts
Slow-Motion
Abnormal thoughts
Depression
Anxiety
Fatigue
Insomnia
Swollen Puffy Forehead
Diarrhea
Palpitations (noticeable and irregular heartbeat)
Still going to physical therapy for my Charcot Marie Tooth syndrome. Really enjoying the heat therapy, ultrasound, and massages on my feet. Had a good session today with Kim my physical therapist. She has only been working on my feet but I am hoping that I can get my doc to order therapy on the rest of my body.
Went shopping after therapy today. Only shopped about an hour but I am so sore all over and exhausted.
Got a purple sweater dress, a leopard coat, socks and a black shirt today.
Hope to head to the Zoo this weekend or to West Virginia to visit my family.
Having insomnia really bad lately.
Wish I felt better. Hate feeling so poorly all the time.
My sis Rosie had her 3 month Gastric Bypass Checkup. Since Feb she has lost over +125 lbs. She only weighs 66 lbs more than me now. You go Sis! Just wish her nausea would dissipate. Her hernia wound has healed enough and was told she can now start aquatic therapy!!! Woo-Hoo! Calling the Boy and Girls Club as well as Jefferson Community Pool tomorrow. Hope to start on Monday. LIFE IS GOOD!
I saw Dr. Stephen G. Boyce, who did Rosie’s gastric bypass surgery, today. I am having him investigate my continuing gastro-intestinal issues that has bothered me ever since I had my roux-en-y on Sept 14th, 2009. He has a few theories on why I only lost 50 or so pounds from the roux-en-y surgery. I should have lost 100+ lbs. Theories are my pouch should be smaller: 15 ml and not 30ml. More of my intestines need bypassed. Scar tissue. Bowel Kink.
I am having an abdominal CT Scan on Nov 1st.
*IF* it is what Dr Boyce thinks it may be, I will have to undergo another Laparoscopic surgery and I should be able to lose more weight. My BMI is still 35.3. Still OBESE!
Still suffering from upper left quadrant abdominal pains, bloating, gas and diarrhea. Severe at times.
Just hoping that some of Dr Boyce’s theories show up on the CT scan and that I can have another lap surgery and get on my way to a healthier life. He hopes it is due more to my lower bowel area than a problem with my upper stomach region. Lower gastrointestinal prob will be much easier to fix… than an upper one.
He is starting me on flagyl and was suggesting Cholestyramine till I told him I was already on Welchol. They are in the same family of meds. I have tired Cholestyramine in the past unsuccessfully.
I had gastric bypass to help me get off some of my meds. Well, I am off insulin but now on 3 NEW meds for my stomach issues!!! My current med list:
Atenolol Heart Rate/Blood Pressure Bentyl Irritable Bowel Buspar Social Anxiety Cymbalta Depression/Fibromyalgia/ CMT Loperamide Irritable Bowel Lortab Chronic Fatigue//Fibromyalgia Meta-Glip Diabetes/Insulin Resistance Synthroid Hypothyroid Trazodone Depression/Insomnia Welchol Irritable Bowel Xanax Anxiety/Insomnia Fish Oil Multi Vitamin/Mineral Biotin IRON Probiotic Vitamin B Complex D3
I AM A WALKING PHARMACY! LOL!
I really need to lose weight to help with my Charcot Marie Tooth Syndrome “CMT” which I was recently diagnosed with.
CMT Morbus Charcot-Marie-Tooth, Charcot-Marie-Tooth neuropathy, hereditary motor and sensory neuropathy (HMSN), hereditary sensorimotor neuropathy (HSMN), or peroneal muscular atrophy, is an inherited disorder of nerves (neuropathy) that takes different forms. It is characterized by loss of muscle tissue and touch sensation, predominantly in the feet and legs but also in the hands and arms in the advanced stages of disease. Currently incurable.
I inherited it from my dad. My legs and feet are getting weaker. I have extremely high arches and claw toes. When I walk, all my weight lands on the balls of my feet and not evenly as it is suppose to. My feet are starting to turn outward. Have very tight Achilles tendons. Gluts and Quads are also too tight. I started therapy last week to help prevent further damage. I have had issues all my life with twisting my ankles, losing my balance, and falling. At least now I know there is a reason and not just my clumsiness! CMT is a Muscular Dystrophy disease.
Angela October 20th, 2011 Dr Boyce's Office.
Still desiring to lose 50-75 additional pounds… with Dr Boyce’s surgical mind, capable hands, and his wonderful compassion, coupled with my rejuvenated desire to lose more weight; I am sure it can be accomplished.
I have been exercising for 15-30 min a day. Using resistant bands, stretches, and isometrics. Hope to go to aquatic aerobics 2-3 times a week. I will have to rise and shine by 7 am on the days we go… Just have to start getting my rump in bed earlier than the 4 am I am accustomed to.
I am so tired today. Got up at 8 am. Now my upper abdominal area is extended. Bloated horribly. Has been for a few hours. Miserable.
Went to Puleos in Strawberry Plains. I had a salad (greens, cheese, tomatoes, croutons, and cucumbers) homemade Italian dressing… I may have used 1 Tablespoon. Got stuffed after the salad and only had 3-4 bites of citrus chicken and 2 bites of sirloin. 3 bites of sesame noodles. One bite of bread.
I have known John for almost 4 years now. He and I text chat with video cam. No audio. I am just too shy… I finally made him a video of me taking to him with Audio. I have never made a video of myself until now.., BUT Damn I am so cute!!! Adorable. Sweet Southern Voice. John loved it! Gonna audio Chat with him LIVE this week. Think I have enough courage to do it. His step-grandsons (13 and 15) are out of school on Fall break and have been staying with him all week. Lucky to even see him on cam this week let alone TALK to him live… Hope to webcam chat with audio over the weekend.
We are heading out to pick up meds tomorrow and then gonna drive bye FrightMare Manor http://frightmaremanor.com/ to see how busy they are. It is about 2.5 miles from my house. Extremely popular attraction.
I am getting more confidence and self esteem. Feeling womanly. Dressing sexier. Receiving lots of male attention.
Been playing with makeup. Tried a few different looks this week. Some were nice… others.. eh… not so much. LOL!
I wore a black mini-dress. It is called Bandage Dress. Got it 2 years ago and finally wore it for the first time today. It is a size 16 but I could have easily worn it in a size 12. Really pleased with the way my legs looked today! Main body issue I hate is my saggy flabby tummy. Lots of loose skin there. My face is also sagging some. Been doing facial exercises and hope that it get taunter. I also have a few wrinkles on my forehead… but hell I look spectacular to be almost 46 years old! LOL!
October 20, 2011
Hoping to visit my West Virginia Family in a few weeks. Missing them all. Sending love and prayers to all of them especially to Brandy, Sara, Becky and MaShayla. Praying that Shay’s cat Zena comes home soon. Sending get well wishes to Aunt Earlene. We are hoping to stay in a Cabin At Twin Falls Resort… if one of the handicapped cabins is available the weekend we go in.
My snack tonight will be low fat mozzarella string cheese and a few red seedless grapes…. and then off to bed.
I had a burst of energy today and did housework for over an hour. I even cooked strip steaks and cinnamony sweet tater fries… but now I am hurting severely in my shoulders and thighs. UGH! I visit my rheumy tomorrow in regards to my fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue syndrome, and insomnia.
I have an appt to see a podiatrist on Thursday. I have 4 open raw sore on my feet from a new pair of shoes. I am a diabetic and worry a lot when I even get s small scratch on my feet.
I had gastric bypass roux-en-y surgery 2 years ago.I see Dr Boyce, a gastric bypass surgeon, next week. Dr Boyce is checking to see why I lost only 50 lbs from the surgery. I should have lost 100 or more.
I lost 50 lbs PRIOR to surgery and then 50 lbs by my 6th month anniversary. I weighed the same for my 1 year and 18th month anniversary. I have lost additional weight the past few months but that is from me starving myself.
He has received my medical records from my surgeon Dr Mancini. I am hoping that Dr Boyce will order some tests to check out my stomach ‘pouch’ to see if it has stretched or if there is something wrong with the surgery. I am having some stomach issues. Pain in my left quadrant, severe diarrhea and gas. Even had 2 “accidents” the past few days. UGH! Thought that the welchol, bentyl and Imodium trio had cured that but I was wrong.
I have always felt something was not right with my surgery. I started complaining to Dr Mancini and his staff 2 weeks after I had surgery… I had some tests and all according to him they were normal… but I was having green diarrhea, and severe gnawing upper left quadrant pain. Eventually Dr Mancini did exploratory surgery and discovered that I had scar tissue. Repaired that. I felt better for a few days after that but I STILL have the same problems now.
I was not happy at all with losing just 50 lbs after undergoing MAJOR surgery. I should have lost 60-80% of my excess weight. I was 165-200 lbs overweight (depending on the insurance chart and body frame I should weigh anywhere from 115 to 155) when my journey started. I am STILL at least 50 lbs overweight!!! UGH!
John thinks I am getting too skinny. He suggests once I make my next goal weight being under 200, which I am only a few pounds away from, that I will stop ‘trying’ to lose weight.
I dream of weighing less than 175. I would be ok at that weight. But I would even be happier at 125!
Dad thinks I am too skinny now as well. MEN!
Just hoping and praying that Dr Boyce checks me out thoroughly and somehow helps me lose a few more pounds.
Bought a pair of fleece HALLOWEEN pants from Wally World… size MEDIUM 8-10… and they are too big on me…. loose and baggy. There is no way that a 200 lb woman should fit in a size small… I hate vanity sizing. According to these pants….I can only imagine how baggy a size small would be on a girl who is a size 2-4-6-8…since a medium is too big on me.
According to my measurements I am a 12/14 on the majority of sizing charts…. but once I put on clothing according to the size charts I realize that you can NOT believe them at all. Varied so much. There should be STANDARD measurements that all clothing manufactures should follow. I know I harp on this often … just a pet peeve of mine.
All the excess skin in my tummy region is driving me insane. So flabby and ugly… and painful. I end up with underbelly rashes often. Dr Melling has me on nystatin cream. Insurance won’t pay for the nystatin powder. I believe if I had a tummy tuck I could wear a size 8-10 easily.
Just hoping Rosie gets medical clearance so she and I can start water aerobics.
I KNOW I am in hyper mode and rambling.
I can be hyper and lucid one minute and the next minute I am incoherent with brain fog. UGH!
Sending my love and prayers to John. He was diagnosed with Tennis elbow. Poor baby is in so much pain that he hasn’t been sleeping well. Pray he sleeps well tonight.
Over the past few years so many wonderful and exciting changes have came into my life. Some I help create, some were surprisingly sprung upon me and some transformations that I never even knew I wanted suddenly came galloping into my life. Hope that the metamorphosis continues.
I currently weigh over 100 lbs less than my highest weight of 315 lbs. (I am STILL over 200 lbs.) Gastric Bypass “Lap Roux-En-Y” and a low carb and high protein diet helped me get to this point. I would love to lose 25-35 additional lbs. I was on that way to that goal when Rosie (my sissy) underwent her Gastric Bypass “Lap Biliopancreatic Diversion with Duodenal Switch” and her subsequent MRSA infections derailed my weight loss. I gained 4 lbs. in the last 2 months. I am one of those people who EAT carbs when stressed and having my baby sister so ill, whom I am a caregiver for, was extremely stressful for me… hence I ate way more carbs than a diabetic or a gastric bypass patient should. At times, I still do. Rosie had nausea and some vomiting today so I ate a bunch of Hershey miniature candies and 2 bananas.. Sugar is 272 as I type this. Should be 70-120.. So disappointed in myself but I am gonna gain control… I have to.
All week I have had so much energy… well spurts of it at least. Right now I am hyper. Will prolly clean the dining area prior to bed. So glad that I am having SOME energy since I have virtually none the majority of the time due to chronic fatigue syndrome and fibromyalgia. Thinking back it seems I ALWAYS feel better in Sept/October… wondering if the cooler weather benefits me more than hot weather does. I have never tolerated HOT weather. Hmmm… gonna have to move to a more temperate climate … sunny, mild and breezy sounds lovely… Hawaii sounds about right!
I have so many plans for my future. Really gungho. I am gonna lose those 25-35 NAGGING lingering pounds…. and when I do I am gonna go have a tummy tuck. I absolutely positively detest my saggy and baggy lose skin in my stomach Panniculus region. I bet I could wear a size 6 or an 8 jean if I didn’t have this excess skin! In stretch denim I can wear a size 12 now.
I was this same weight 20 years ago when I married and divorced Michael Patterson Hager, Jr. He and I married 20 Years ago on Sunday. Divorced shortly after. He was just a brain fart in my life. LOL! I can NOT believe I married such a low life and gave up my virginity to him. (yep I was a 25 year old virgin. I was NO ANGEL…. He and I did fool around some prior to the wedding but I saved the best for last) I honestly am such a different lady now… Not as naive.
Age, Wisdom, Time, and Growth go hand in hand.
There have been times when I have acted high and mighty towards others and said things I regret. Acted like I was better than they were and I wish I hadn’t. I ask those whom I did this to to forgive me. I am no angel. Have never been and will never be. I am HUMAN and make mistakes like everyone else does.
I am very shy around those that I don’t know very well… BUT those close to me know that in actuality, I can be flirty, bawdy, raucous, and even hilarious. I hate having social anxiety. It keeps me from forming relationships… online and in real life. It has been 17 years since I dated. Yes…. it will be…. SEVENTEEN Years…. on Nov 18th. I have a wonderful ONLINE ONLY friendship with John. Known him for almost 4 years now.
You would never know it from reading my journal or my postings online but I have a high Intelligence Quotient… major issue I have is saying something that makes me look like a fool… or worrying about hurting other peoples feelings…. I worry way too much about what other people THINKS about me. Oh yep… I am also snobbishly proud to be the QUEEN Of the Ellipsis… LOL!
I want “THE REAL ANGELA” to come across online and in reality. I wish everyone could see the Angela that my sis Rosie and My Friend John sees. That would be a major breakthrough. I am gonna attempt to accomplish that and many other goals. 2011 has only a few months left and in those few months they are gonna be some spectacular changes in me. My appearance has changed dramatically in the 2 years, since I had gastric bypass and now is the time for my personality to shine brilliantly…. like a diamond in the sky. Sparking. Twinkling. Radiantly. Everlasting.
My renewed faith is strong and I know I can do anything I set my mind to.
I have to thank my beloved John for helping me get to this point in my life. He is the greatest man I have ever known after my Daddy. He is always there for me. Supportive. Compassionate. Considerate. Helpful. Complimentary. He is a professional. Works for the Scottish Government. Wears suits and Ties. WOW.. I loved the way he looked tonight. Majority of the time I see him in sweats but the past few evenings he has been working late and came to our webcam chat in his business attire. Tonight was a black dress shirt and a black and white polka dotted tie. So spiffy. Fashionable. I adore that he is so intelligent. He loves computers as much as I do. Knowledgeable in so many varied subjects… so unlike all the other men I have loved. Yes LOVED> I love that rascal and he loves me. He and I will remain ONLY friends unless God has other plans but for now it is a friendship. A partnership. He and I are emotionally closer than the preponderance of husbands and wives. He and I support one another. Comfort each other. ‘GET’ one another. So happy that I replied to his message 4 years ago. I knew immediately he was different. He and I met at a BBW “Big Beautiful Woman” friendship site… which has since shuttered.
John has been having some problems with his arm/elbow after falling off a ladder last weekend. Having major trouble sleeping. Pray that he gets a good nights sleep. I can’t wait to see him tomorrow night.
I have been tidying up my bedroom so John and I can have a private talk. It has been a long time since we chatted in private. Maybe twice in the last 2 years. Have been chatting on my laptop in Rosie’s room. Been TEXT chatting only… hope to talk by phone/webcam chat this weekend. He only has been seeing my face on webcam…. This weekend I will let him see me and the weight I have since lost.
I am experiencing body issues. Nothing new…. I was 315 lbs when I met John… and I was actually more comfy with my body then than I am now. I used to be way more provocative back then. I miss that part of me. Lately I have been wearing short dresses and tighter clothes. Even dyed my hair back to the color it was 20 years ago when I weighed the same. BLACK hair just suits me better. Even been wearing human hair extensions and wigs. Gastric bypass caused me to lose some of my luxurious mane. I cut over 15″ off over a year ago to see if that would make it look fuller. It didn’t…. Still almost as thin. My hair is now 23″ long again. It was over 30″ prior to the bypass. Hope to get it that long again. It is very healthy. Shiny. Just straggly and scrawny. Especially in the front area. I am just thankful that they make decent and affordable hair extensions and wigs now. I do wear my own hair the majority of the time but it [...]
GOOD NEWS: The fistula to Rosie’s colon is healing on it’s own.
Rosie had 2 drainage tubes removed from her abdomen.
She had a cyst drained near her bladder. Sending off a culture to see what it is. Assume it is MRSA staph infection like the rest of them has been. She has a new drain that is connected to the bladder cyst area.
They added the antibiotic Invanz to her treatment.
Her hernia wound is healing and closing in.
Rosie is feeling great…. ate 2 slices of thin deli ham for her snack and a 2-3 oz of roast beef for supper.
I LOVE MY SISSY!
I had severe muscle aches in my thighs. Vicodin relieved it for awhile. Coming back… UGH!
Rosie had a vomiting episode that came on instantly… without any warning… It was clear foamy liquid. I hate seeing her vomit so violently. Poor thing. Happened about 3 hours after having dinner.. she ate 100% of her 2 oz of pureed chicken. Thankful that a Registered Nurse was in here to assist us tonight.
Rosie’s Blood Pressure has been up a lil all day. Also having a mild fever.
Pray that she sleeps well tonight.
I am exhausted today. Achy in all my joints. Wore out. Not getting any decent rest here at the hospital. Can’t wait to get home and in my own bed. Hopefully soon.
Rosie had a good night. Feeling well today. Eating fairly well.. would do so much better IF the food was palatable. She had a scrambled egg, strawberry jelly, and milk for breakfast.
Dr Boyce ( gastric bypass surgeon) and Dr Adams (infectious disease doc) has visited Rosie this morn. Boyce is aiming for Rosie to get released by the weekend. Dietician needs to add up her protein intake and report to him. He has ordered another abdominal ct scan to check for inflammation and abscess of her tummy. Dr Adams is ordering her IV vancomycin for home use as well as flagyl orally.
Rosie has had very minor nausea the past few days and has kept ALL her food and fluids down. Praise God.
She sat up for an hour in her wheelchair yesterday. Aiming for 90 min today.
She is still receiving TPN nutrition feedings by IV. I assume they will continue for a few days once she arrives back home.
We are not certain of Rosie’s highest weight but assume she has lost around 100 lbs so far. She is still weak and does not set up straight. So the weight loss is not that noticeable yet. Once she can sit up better and wear clothes other than extremely loose garments( due to her hernia wound and her MRSA drain tube) all her weight loss will be greatly visible. She was wearing size 32/34 pants. Prior to surgery she was down to a size 24. She has lost 40+ lbs since so I assume she will be able to wear even smaller pants as soon as the wounds heal. She has a new wardrobe at home waiting for her. We purchased all sorts of clothes prior to surgery. She has some really sexy clothes. My sis is gonna be a skinny minny SLUT! LOL.. Just like her sis. LOL.
My chronic fatigue syndrome has a major flare-up. So tired. Really severe shoulder… thigh… hip… aches and pings. I slept so-so last night. Gonna take a nap with Rosie shortly.
Rosie is up every 90 min to urinate at night. She uses a bed pan. The nurse assistants take care of it at night and I do it during the day.
Been having panic attacks. Just stressed and feeling lonely. Missing John. Even though we text and email daily I haven’t seen him LIVE on cam. He is gonna go on a holiday to Spain with his sis. Gonna miss him even more.
I am hoping Rosie gets released tomorrow.
Thanks for all your prayers, support and well wishes.
Rosie is doing well. She ate 1 scrambled egg and 1/2 serving of applesauce for breakfast. She vomited up clear fluids aka foamies afterwards BUT as long as she keeps her food down, which she did, all is well.
She has seen 3 doctors today and a dietician.
She is sleeping now. I plan on taking a nap after dad gets here and leaves.
Her WBC level went down to 20,000.
She is feeling so much better. No pain. No nausea.
I had a rough night. Didn’t sleep well. My shoulders and thighs are killing me. Having to take my Vicodin as scheduled. I normally only take half of what the doc has prescribed for me.
Hopefully Rosie will get to go home tomorrow.
I have been so stressed out with worry about Rosie. It finally caught up with me…. I have been so nervous, anxious, and shaky since last night.
Rosie got weighed in the hospital bed and she has lost 31 more lbs since surgery. So proud of her. She is delighted. She has lost around 90 lbs since February!!!
She is attempting to take protonix (tummy med) orally. Will see how it goes.
I had BBQ chicken, Mashed Taters, Broccoli, and Cucumbers for my dinner. Have enough leftovers for 2 more meals. They give you way too much food!!!
I am having an allergy attack. UGH!
Just took some vicoden and hopefully my leg and shoulder pains will subside. TIRED.
Pukes up her meds as well as her vitamins and protein shakes.
She is getting feed by TPN IV Infusions with added vitamins that are customized according to her needs.
Rosie hates feeling so bad and I hate seeing her in pain.
She is having tender aches and pains all over her tummy region.
She is exhausted.
Just pray that she gets some rest tonight and wakes up feeling 100% better.
Her home RN Pete is coming tomorrow to change the wound vac on her OPEN hernia repair wound. Also doing labs on her.
I am doing all the IV infusions by myself now. IF she does not start eating and keeping foods and her pills down she will have to have a feeding tube inserted.
Rose’s home health aides Peggy and Dina both are coming tomorrow… staying from 2 to 9. I think that is the times. I am so forgetful. I hope to get some rest tomorrow. Peggy and Dina are like family to us. We all adore them both.
Rosie sees her Family doc, Blake Melling, on Monday in regards to her right outer thigh pain.
Tuesday she sees a Gastroenterologist… Dr Wilhoite.
Dr Boyce, the surgeon who performed her Gastric Bypass bpd/ds thinks Rosie may have a stricture… aka blockage. He kinda hopes so since that would explain her nausea and the reasons why she can’t keep things down. Rosie will have an endoscopy prolly this week. HOPEFULLY.
Thursday she sees her nutritionist.
Busy week. Just hope the doctors can identify and help what ever is causing her to be so sick.
She has such rawness and burning along her entire gastric tract. I know it is prolly inflamed due to all the vomiting. Poor baby.
She is urinating much better. Still having small runny bowel movements.
Her glucose jumped from 85 to 190 today…
Rosie and I napped for 4 hours today. She is sound asleep now. I am gonna have to wake her to test her glucose before I go to bed. Trying to wait till this 12 hour TPN IV infusion completes its job. Should be ALMOST done.
All our pets are worried about Rose. Punkin, our siamese cat, won’t leave Rosie’s side. Tater, Jazzi and Smoki all are very careful when they get near Rose. They know she is sore from the hernia repair.
As I cleaned and repacked her open drain site, which tunnels a few inches inside her stomach… Rosie seemed to be in more pain in that region that she had been as I pushed the packing tape inside of it. Bloodier as well.
Both of her IV Picc lines flushed with saline smoothly today. They had been causing trouble for me as well as the nurses.
You should see all the medical supplies in our house. Rosie has boxes stacked for wound care items in her bedroom. We keep the IV Transfusion items in the fridge or on the kitchen table for easy access.
I have been eating fairly healthy but with stress and fretting about Rosie I have indulged in way many more carbs than I normally would.
Had some nice conversation with my best friend John this past week. I so look forward to seeing him for our daily webcam chat. We support one another and enjoy our relaxing time together. Even IF it is only for a few minutes. I have been so wore out lately that I sometimes miss chat and nap instead. I woke up this morning aching to see him. Just seeing him live on cam is such a blessing. Comforts me tremendously. He is having dinner tomorrow at his sisters. Pray he does not overeat or get heartburn… I know he will be over indulging in curry dishes as he always does. :-0
Prayers to and for my cousin Becky. Praying that the docs can determine the nature and cause of her edema and leg pains… and that they are treatments for them. She has appt to see a cardiologist and a rheumatologist.
I have been having pings and soreness on the left side of my navel region. Not sure what is causing that.
Having major fibromyalgia brain fog. Constantly forgetting things and having to remind myself often. Having to make lists to keep track of things… Also having all the normal pains and soreness in my legs and shoulders. Also been having some neck stiffness.
My tummy is doing better than it was. I am on Imodium, Bently, and Welchol now for my IBS. Having less frequent ‘accidents’ now.
My nerves are frazzled. So stressed. Been depressed and crying often… which I had stopped doing. Having severe panic attacks with having to deal with all the nurses and medical field persons. Seems like I am on the phone constantly with someone…. and I detest talking on the phone with a passion!
I MAY go out tomorrow grocery shopping. I HATE doing it alone. I more or less run through the store grabbing stuff as quick as possible and getting out of there before having a heart attack.
Just so scared for Rosie. Just pray that she can start eating again and keeping food and fluids down. Not sure what to do when she pukes up her meds. Will discuss with Dr Melling on Monday.
Time to turn off her IV pump, check her sugar, and get to bed.
I am so worried about Rosie. She is getting better by the day BUT it looks like her hernia wound is infected. I hope it isn’t. So worried she may have to go back in the hospital. She sees her surgeon tomorrow… I pray that if he has to debris the wound that it is pain-free as possible. She hasn’t been getting enough protein in… but she is trying. I am exhausted from work and worrying. Have to rise and shine at 6 am tomorrow. Prayers appreciated. THANKS!
Rosie will get to go home tomorrow IF she gets in her liquids, vitamins, and protein.. and keeps them down. She vomited 2x’s yesterday. She has stopped the lortab and is taking tylenol for pain. Not in much pain 2day. Gonna be getting her up in her wheelchair today. Hope it is as pain free as possible. Rosie is no longer loopy. No talking in her sleep. More alert. She is actually making some sense today!
She is drinking her fluids slower today. Only 1/2 oz for each 15 min. She has a slew of pills to take. We give her one every 30 min. Actually not we.. Just me!
Dumb ass aide asked me for help to get Rosie on the bedpan. The prob was the aide was putting the potty under her the wrong way! Good Lord… she is suppose to at least know how to put a bed pan under someone the correct way! She is in her 60′s. Dad told me not to tell on her since she is so old.
Dad is driving down today. Takes about 50 minutes to get here… depending on traffic.
I slept well last night but I am tuckered out. Gonna nap off and on all day. Rosie is sound asleep. Yesterday in her sleep she was hollering for Smoki and the cats.
I just got off the phone with Smoki. Dad says he was so excited to here my voice. Dad had it on speaker phone. Can’t believe he figured out how to turn on the speaker phone by himself. He can hear me so much better on speakphone. His hearing aids don’t do well with the phone even though the phone is hearing aid compatible.
Time to wake Rosie up to take 1/2 oz of decafe ice tea.
I just pray that Rosie gets back to her old self soon.
She has had no tylenol for 8 hours now and is in no pain. Thankful for that.
I am achy breaky all over. Fibromyalgia flare up! UGH!
July 6th 8:00 Dr. Boyce CLASSJuly 6th 12:15 Dr. Boyce FINAL LABSJuly 11th 1:45 Dr. Boyce VISITJuly 11th 3:45 Hospital PRE-OPJuly 19th Coumadin STOPJuly 26th 7:00 SURGERY
She will be having Duodendal Switch with Biliopancreatic Diverision on July 26th with Dr Stephen Boyce as Surgeon.
Rosie and I both will be starting a MONTH long high protein liquid diet prior to her surgery. I am doing it in support of her. I hope to lose a few pounds and lose 15-25 lbs. during this time.
Rosie is getting excited about losing weight and regaining some of her life. Appreciate your prayers. THANKS!
I am so happy for her yet worried at the same time. I pray that surgery and recovery goes smoothly and that she can adapt readily to the lifestyle DS/BPD requires.
I had Roux-en-Y surgery on Sept 14th 2009 and lost over 1oo lbs. Doing well. I still can only eat small meals at a time. I have days where I still have issues with certain foods. But mainly eat what I want but in limited quantities. My life has changed since surgery. I have more confidence and self esteem. I can do more but with having chronic fatigue syndrome and fibromylalgia I often do more than I should and end up paying for it later. Like I can go out and shop for a few hours and then barely can get out of bed the next day. Still having fibro aches and pains as I did prior to surgery. I still don’t tolerate heat very well. It can be 95 degrees outside.. and when I walk into an air-conditioned store I end up with chills and torrential sweats. HATE THAT!
My Family doc has been trying various meds to help with my IBS. Was on Questran and it didn’t help. Start on Bentyl tomorrow. Been having cramps and diarrhea more and more often. Fecal incontinence is almost nightly now. No fun at all. Embarrassing and humiliating. Not sure what has caused this but it happened after Gastric Bypass Surgery. If Bentyl does not help Welchol is the next treatment planned. I am on Immodium a few times daily. Have been for years.
I start on metaglip tomorrow for my diabetes and stop glipizide. I continue on Victoza as long as I can get samples from my endocrinologist since my insurance will NOT cover it.
Still on Cymbalta, Xanax, and Trazodone for my nerves and anxiety.
I take Vicodin for my fibromylagia pain.
I am now wearing a size 10-12-14 in clothing.. All depends on the designer. I even have a few 7-9 that I wear. VANITY SIZING! Cause I am a size 16 I am sure! I have about 10-15 lbs of excess stomach skin. Gonna be talking to some plastic surgeons about removing it. Still desiring breast augmentation. What I once had is now saggy sloping deflated boobs. Have to roll em up to get them in my bra. LOL! Not really… but almost!
I still can’t believe I got my drivers license. So PROUD of myself. Major break-through for me. Congrats to myself.
John just got back from Portugal and Spain today. Has an awesome tan. Looks incredible. Glad he got some time to enjoy himself. Was thrilled to see him tonight. Woo-Hoo! We have a special date night planned for Wednesday. I missed him so much and cried daily while he was away. He and I webcam daily whenever possible. Have yet to meet. He is my best friend. We adore one another.
For 17 years I have not dated, been kissed or made love to. Yes, I am lonely and I pray to have patience, perseverance, wisdom, and guidance to whomever or whatever God wants me to have in my life.
I am going out to the mall tomorrow afternoon/evening. May go to the movies. Not sure yet.Rosie and I need new bedsheets. Plus Rosie needs a few items for after surgery. Already got her some really cute nighties. She has dropped 2 dress sizes this year. So proud of her. She is gonna be one hot sexy SKINNY mama! She is already gorgeous.. Can only imagine what she will look like in the future.
Went to The Great Smoky Flea Market yesterday. Got some lovely Fascinators. John loved the hot pink flowery fascinator I had on tonight. I also got 2 maxi halter dresses… BRAND NEW… for only $6 each. Got a size XL but needed L or perhaps a M. The dresses are so sexy but too revealing to wear out in public without a jacket or shawl. I wore the hot pink Hawaiian flowered one today to the Doctor. Mainly wore it for John. He thought I looked beautiful… and I DID! Also bought lots of $1 earrings. So adorable. Smoki went with us. He had a blast. He got fitted for a new red harness. He is so studly!
We were out for only around an hour yesterday. It was so hot. My body thermostat is all screwed up due to Fibromylagia… so when perspire… I sweat… dripping… drenched… UGH! They are times even in cold weather where I will have chills and the sweats at the same time. UGH. Frustrating to say the least. Since Gastric Bypass I get cold so easily. I will wear a sweatshirt most evenings cause I am so cold.
Another thing that has changed is my tailbone. I never had much of an Badonkadonk even at 315 lbs. So, now, after losing 110+ lbs I have zero butt left. No cushion there now…So my tailbone aches most of the day…. So I HAVE a pain in the ass daily.. Some say I AM a pain in the ass. LOL!
Allergy season is killing me. My nose will start dripping all the sudden… like a faucet…as well as my eyes tearing.. looks like I am crying. UGH! Benadryl and Claritin is not helping.
I have some leftover taco’s from El Sazon that I am making for my dinner tonight. I get them carryout. 9 taco’s with Meat and Cheese only… with Lettuce and Tomato on the side. They give me almost a head of lettuce and 2-3 chopped tomatoes. I remove the taco shells and discard them. The Taco meat, cheese, lettuce and tomatoes makes me at least 3 meals not counting how many dad and Rosie eats. So Tasty and filling. So glad that I can Still only eat small portions. Hope it stays that way forever.
I have also started doing laundry daily. Something I have never did in my life. I am getting good at it and actually enjoy it.
I am living with aches and pains from fibro, the IBS issues, my allergies, my insomnia/hypersomnia troubles, my diabetes, and my continuing social anxiety and panic attacks. It could be better and yet it could be worse… I am grateful for all the blessings and pray for the strength to conquer obstacles in my life. It will get better…
I am not the same woman I was a few years ago and that is in a good way.
I only wish I could enjoy all the fabulous changes and opportunities coming my way… But Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and Fibromylagia are not allowing that. If I over-do it even a lil bit I am down for days trying to recoup from it. I have been aching from my head to my toes lately. Exhausted and lethargic. Been needing 12 hours of sleep even to attempt getting up the next day.
I have to Thank God, Dad, Rosie and John for helping me overcome so many obstacles. Also many thanks to all my doctors: Dr Blake Melling (Family Doctor) , Dr Joanne Langton (Endocrinologist) , and Dr Aqueel Kouser (Rheumatologist) to just mention a few.
Spent a lovely 3 night / 4 day weekend in Gatlinburg with my Sister Rosie. I was more fatigued this time than last years mini-vacay to Gatlinburg Family Fest / Gaither Homecoming Concerts. Went to 5 shows. Had a good time in spite of hurting in my shoulders, neck, back, legs and tailbone. I had to go to the bathroom often just to help relieve some of the tailbone aches. It helped.
I am down over 110 lbs now. Wearing a size 10-12. Receiving so much attention from men and I love it. Had guys ask me this past weekend if they could have their picture taken with me…. and that is not counting the ones who took my picture without even asking. FLATTERING.
I am dressing different than I had been. Getting back to dressing more provocative but not over doing it… gotta remember I am a 45 year old woman. Loving wearing dresses and showing off my legs.
Angela trying to look sexy and failing at it miserably. LOL!
My hair is now Jet Black. I use to dye it black for years… mainly in my 20′s. Love it and so does everyone else! I also cut some short bangs ala Bettie Page style.. but I still can style them away from my face if I want to. I sometimes wear hair extensions, wigs, and clip on pony-tails on occasion. Like to change my look often. Been wearing my hair is a beehive bouffant style lately.
Rosie had a eye appt. Visual Field Test prior to starting Plaquenil. My eye doc who is also Rosie’s eye doc, his nurse and receptionist barely recognized me. First time they had seen me with Makeup. I look majorly different with makeup they could not believe how beautiful I looked today.
I finally was brave enough to go take my road test to get my drivers license. Didn’t tell no one but Dad and Rosie just in case I failed… BUT I passed on my first attempt. WOO-HOO! Now if I can only get Dad to let me and Rosie take the mini-van out alone. He still says no… that I am not ready for that yet. I hope to make a short trip out with just Rosie and I…. we may go to the grocery store OR to McDonalds for some Unsweetened Ice Tea. MAYBE.
Rosie has a surgery date for Gastric Bypass. It is July 26th. She has to get pre-op testing, take an education class over the next few weeks. She will be on a low carb-high protein diet all of July. She has already lost 2 dress sizes. I am so proud of her.
Rose and Angela Picture was taken on Rosie's 44th Birthday
Gonna be driving to West Virginia to visit family as soon as the weather dips down to the 70′s- mid 80′s.
I do have more self confidence on some days. Still suffering from panic attacks. On Xanax full time now. SNOOZE…
My Rheumy has me on a high dose of a narcotic and it is helping *some* with the pain I have but it makes me so drowsy. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ. Snore…
Sugars are doing well. My Insurance will not cover Victoza injections but my doc is willing to give me samples. I may have to go on byetta soon. Will see.
Been having severe anxiety and depression at times. Gonna discuss it with Melling this week. I feel so helpless and worthless at times.
Rosie’s lower back has been aching for a few weeks now. She sees her urologist Dr Bedford Waters this week in Knoxville. I am driving. Can’t wait.
I am 45 years old and got my first set of keys for the car and house now.
I even pumped gas for the very 1st time last week. Kudos to me.
I have been pampered, spoiled and protected by my family for far too long.
I have even learned how to wash and dry clothes… still haven’t mastered the skill of putting clothes away. Nor doing dishes.
Dad has been in and out of the hospital for a few months. Currently he has protein in his urine, enlarged heart, COPD, pneumonia, a bum knee that needs replaced… and a case of the worst “grumpys n grouchys” in the world. His Doctors doesn’t want him doing anything but he still does some… albeit not as much as he used to. I know how tough it is on him to sit and do nothing… that contributes to his moodiness. He is rough on me and Rosie at times but we still love him.
Smoki went to Lowes today. Oh yea.. Smoki is my Cairn Terrier. He loves Lowes… and of course everyone adores Smoki. He is a doll. He wore his black leather fringe bandana today and he goes crazy when he see’s it and can’t wait till it is on him … and hates when we take it off. Went to Lowes to look for Dad a new riding lawn mower. Should be delivered tomorrow. His old lawn tractor has seen its last days. Also bought Dad a new TV 32″ LCD Plasma. He put it in his bedroom since that is where he spends most of his time lately. Appreciate prayers for him. THANKS!
Smoki My Cairn Terrier aka TOTO Dog
Then we took Smoki to Wendy’s for a Jr. Bacon Cheeseburger plain. His fave.
Smoki
Came home to a brilliant webcam session with John. He is heading to Spain on Monday with his Sis to celebrate her finishing her last chemo/radiation treatments and hopefully is now free of breast cancer. John is the best. He and I get closer daily. Known one another for over 3 years now. Best friends. I am already missing him. He will be away a week but will send me emails/text messages.
Been having severe stomach issues again. Left upper quadrant pain and other issues. IBS Sucks.
May go to the cinema to see a movie this weekend.
Praying for all my Aunts, Uncles, and cousins… as well as my friends. Been reconnecting with so many people I went to school with on Faceook. I love getting reacquainted.
Tailbone is aching so I had better finish this and post it. Heading to bed.
Dad is still having severe edema and is so grouchy… he has been driving all of us insane including our pets.
I pray that he is feeling better tomorrow.
I even pulled over and had Dad drive today due to him making me so nervous. I even cried.
Had a nice lil chat with John. Adore that man. He always helps me relax and is so supportive and attentive. Sending love and prayers to him. He is working @ home for a few weeks due to a back injury and an infection. He was not feeling well and went to bed early. He arrived at chat late cause he was sleeping but said he had to see me tonight. So Sweet and Precious.
Started on Questran for my IBS. Increasing my dosage from once a day to twice a day to see if that helps. So far once a day doesn’t do much.
Been more active lately since Dad has been in and out of the hospital with Pneumonia and Urinary Retention. BUT I am wore out. Aching all over. Chronic Fatigue and Fibromylagia sucks.
Planted some strawberry and tomato plants in the garden this week …. also sowed some catnip seeds for my fur babies Tater, Jazzi, Punkin and Panther.
I have been driving a lot the past few weeks. Adore driving on the four lane. Gonna attempt to get my drivers license in the next few months.
Haven’t been sleeping well. Some nights I sleep like a baby then others I don’t sleep much at all.
Allergy Season is rearing its ugly head. Waiting on my insurance to approve Allegra for me. My forehead, eyes, nose and cheeks are swollen. So pianful. I go from a stuffy nose to a runny faucet in a matter of minutes some days. I even hurt in my ears, teeth and jaw from it.
Been taking better care of my hair, skin, nails and body. Hope to post a blog about it soon. Just so much is on my mind and so much transpiring that I haven’t posted much at all. Sorry. I know lots of my family and friends read this.
I dyed my hair… jet black. It is a medium brown naturally but I have dyed it Red for 6-7 years now. I use to dye it black.. way back in the day. Man I am getting old since I can say WAY BACK IN THE DAY. LOL
Hope to post some reviews on items I have purchased as well as places I purchase stuff from.
Rosie is doing great. She has dropped 2 dress sizes already. She still needs medical clearance letter from her family physician Blake Melling to get approval for Gastric Bypass…. Looks like it will be Summer when she has it. We all adore Dr Melling. Best doc we ever had. SO compassionate. He explains things and listens to us. Dad, Rosie and I all see him. Mom did as well. Good Man!
Ok it is 2 am and here I am blogging when I should be in bed. Heading that way.
Sending love and prayers to Aunt Susie’s family. I love all of you.
Also much love to my cousin Brandy. Hope to see all my WV Family soon as Dad is well enough to travel.
